I wab candy!

Babawan na lang natin ang mga bagay-bagay para mas madaling maintindihan ... =)

"I'm quite sure when you look back at every thing that had happened to you this year, you will simply get amazed at how much effort, time, and emotion you had invested into something. And then you realize that the something is not as much important as the things you value now. Wala lang!"

isa pa...

"I don't know with you pero ako kasi, may sakit ako na pinoproblema masyado ang problema. To make things worst, minsan hindi ko naman problema, pinoproblema ko pa rin. Hahahahahaa! Tiring!"

See below for the full article :D

at para sa ndi cono, this one's from Eunice Olsen (SG Member of Parliament) -- "In tough times you can either wallow in misery or move on."

Eh Move on lang sabay sabi "Wala lang" ... at nakarelate daw talaga ko o ! :P

Merry Christmas & Happy New Year peeps! Malapit na Pilipinas, game ka na ba?! =)

Wala lang by Candy
Pangilinan
http://www.pep.ph/blogs/candidly/?p=15

Naiinis ako, kasi nagalit ako ngayon ng
bonggang-bongga! As in, ngayon-ngayon lang....Bakit?

Nag-inuman ang mga angels namin dito sa
bahay. Belated birthday celebration daw nung yaya ng anak ko. Uminom pero 'di
man lang nagpaalam sa akin, 'di man lang ako in-inform, nalasing pa! Grrrr! 'Di
man lang ako niyaya (joke!).

Honestly, I feel bad that I got mad. I
wasn't able to contain my emotions. I just snapped. Mali! Sayang, eh!
Yup...That's what I really feel at the moment. Sayang! I shouldn't have been
affected so much because it won't do anything to help the situation. To make
things worst, when I got mad, the yaya was sound asleep, drunk! So therefore, no
effect whatsoever ang acting ko. Dapat kasi, I should have taken it as...Wala
lang.

It's okay to get upset, but I shouldn't have
let it control me. Kasi feeling ko for that moment, naging Ms. Minchin ako.
Dapat, wala lang! Napagod na ako, napaos pa ako, nagsisi pa ako ngayon. Grrrr!
Tapos siya, sila...wala lang! Naisahan nila sko dun!
Wala lang...

Pasko na naman o kay tulin ng araw, aminin
mo, Paskong nagdaan tila ba kung kailan lang. Ngayon ay pasko...na naman! Na
naman!

Another year had passed. So many things
happened to me. So many things had changed-the way I see things and see people.
But then again, parang wala lang.
Each year has 525,600 minutes! Amazing!
Anong nangyari? Dami naman! And if I will tell you what transpired each minute,
gosh, that's going to be a looooong entry. And looking too much at those details
might again change me. Now, as I look back at all the carousel, tumblings,
drama, and action I had this year...wala lang!

I had traveled to several countries this
year. Pero parang wala lang.

The people I dislike the most last January
are now my friends. That's after realizing that they too have good traits. So
then, wala lang!

I remember having this ultra crush during
the first quarter of the year. As in. Para akong higad, ang Kati! Ngayon, 'di ko
na siya crush. Wala lang!

I did two television series, a movie, a
couple of shows this year. Wala lang!

I had a criminal case. I made a visit to
Hall of Justice several times. I filed bail last January 2. I even joked that I
am trying to flee from the cops, doing udercover, given the different hairstyles
I had then. Case closed. Now, wala lang!

My son got sick, got confined, and I got
sick as well. (Siguro dala na rin ng kaartehan ko.) Ngayon, wala lang!

I got so thin during the first quarter of
the year, now, I am gaining weight again. I'm back to running around UP academic
oval again, and after all that hard work, yes, I am gaining weight again.
Nevertheless, wala lang! Di ko naman pwede bw*sitin ang sarili ko everyday dahil
tumaba ako, kasi nasarapan ako sa pagkain.

Oh yes! I remember, there was a time that I
had no money this year, then I had money, then I had none again, then I worked
really hard and had money again. After that financial roller coaster, here I
am...wala lang!

Nagkaroon ng Gretchen-John controversy, but
gretchen and tonyboy are still going strong. Wala lang!

Claudine got pregnant, had a baby, and is
now back to her slim figure. Wala lang!

Piolo and Sam have an issue, Lolit enters
the picture. I'm sure na sa ending, wala lang!

If I get affected sa lahat ng nangyayari sa
paligid ko, by now, I'm quite sure na baliw na ako! And that goes for you as
well!

Kasi nga yung traffic lang sa edsa
'pag-nagpa-affect ka...you cannot reconcile the fact that when it rains here in
manila the streets get too crowded. And with everything that Bayani has been
doing, traffic pa rin. The best way to see traffic is...wala lang!

I'm quite sure when you look back at every
thing that had happened to you this year, you will simply get amazed at how much
effort, time, and emotion you had invested into something. And then you realize
that the something is not as much important as the things you value now. Wala
lang!

Simpler example, my problems last January
ain't my problems anymore. Wala lang!
Kasi nga naman kung problema ko pa yung
problema ko last January, my golly, ang laki ng problema ko! Twelve months in
the making and healing! Dapat by this time, wala lang na ang reaction ko.

I would love to have that attitude. Wala
lang! It's not that I am insensitive about people and situations. It's just that
I see things differently. It's sort of not allowing anything or anybody to
consume me. (Naks! Ang lalim nun...kung ano man ang sinabi ko.) But that's true!
Maganda yung ganun! Kasi hindi nakakapagod masyado.

I don't know with you pero ako kasi, may
sakit ako na pinoproblema masyado ang problema. To make things worst, minsan
hindi ko naman problema, pinoproblema ko pa rin. Hahahahahaa! Tiring!

I hope magkaroon ako ng billboard sa EDSA.
Tapos ang nakalagay, "Wala Lang."
And when people ask me, "ano yung picture
mo sa EDSA?" Ang sagot ko, "Di ba nga, wala lang!"

I declare that wala lang attitude can
actually save one person from the agony, pain, persecution, time, effort, and
energy, contrary to the pa-affect attitude. My motto that goes with this kind of
attitude is, "Pikon talo!"

You? What had happened to you these past 12
months? Marami 'di ba? Pero parang wala lang.

we will support your decisions whatever it is...

Just keep focus at do not be affected masyado (minsan mahirap but it is a decision if you really want to be happy).
Sometimes your dreams are cut off by unexpected events but we know that God has better plans for you ahead.
He will make it clear to you when the time comes. Continue to pray and do not loose hope.
Kahit nasasaktan tayo minsan it is his way of grooming and pruning us.
God is our Potter and we are His sculpture. How can we be His perfect sculpture if he will just not let any chisel to come to us
And be molded as He plan. He will let us endure hurt not to point it will break us but to teach us and be better.

I know you are tougher than that, when the tough times comes the tough gets going and we can do that with Christ who strengthens us .
Isa sa mga natutunan ko not let my emotions take control.
Di sabi sa kanta: Thank you Lord for the Trials that come my way in that way I can grow each day as I let You Lead.

-- nanay.

Tama na kwento

Ito ang istorya ni chonainthecity. Kaibigan ni anasuzuki. Kakilala ni titaybato.
Kinagat si titaybato ng aso ni chonainthecity.
Nagtalo sila. Kelangan ipagamot si titaybato. Kelangan patayin ang aso ni chonainthecity.
Mahal ni chonainthecity si bantay, ang aso nyang tapat.
Pero kinailangan din sa bandang huli na masunod ang gusto ni titaybato.

buong tapat na nagsalita si anasuzuki sa dalawa.

kay titaybato-- "Ayos, masaya ko para sa yo."
kay chonainthecity -- "I know you're going through a lot, am just here for you if you need someone to talk too."

How can you be happy and sad for two people at the same time on the same situation?
Where's the sincerity?

One point pa lang yan.

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wala namang masama.. cguro nga habang kinikilala pa nating ang isat-isa, ndon parin ung kelangan nating magsukat at manimbang dahil we all have different personalities, different experiences.. and lalabas talaga un sa iba't ibang circumstances.. gaya nito.. and allow lng natin ung sarili natin na tanggapin kung ano man ung madiscover natin.. kng nde talaga kaya, im sure meron parin maituturo satin un at may purpose un...

'So friend, I was and still am here for you. Believe it or not. Pero I can't fit the package na i think you expect, tama ba?' -- alam ko naman un e.. daming beses ko na napatunayan.. at lahat un naremind sakin kgbe.. all my gratefulness will not fit into two words 'thank you'... believe it or not din.. heheh... alam mo ba... nde pa.. kc ngyon ko palng sasabihin.... heheh.. ur one of the closest friends i have and value most d lng d2 sa sg, kundi in my entire life... iilan lng un kc nde madaling hanapin for me.. so yeah, u fit that package... at pareho tyong marami pang kakainin at work in progress.. =)
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you say the words but it don't feel right
what do you expect me to say?
you know it's just too little too late.

you take my hand and you say you've changed
but you know your begging don't fool me
it's just too little too late.

i can love with all of my heart
i know i have so much to give
you know all the right things to say
it's just too little too late.

Go find someone else
i'm letting you go
i'm loving myself
you gotta problem
don't come asking me for help
it's just too little too late.

Levelan na lang.
Peace be.

Ano na nga

 

"Don't let someone become a priority in your life... When you are just an option in their life. Relationships work best when they are balanced."

 

 

Walker's Song

Time to let go
Of strings that bound
When I come to terms with this.
I'll come back to see you again.
Maybe just to catch a glimpse.
But for now they tell me to say goodbye.
And I realized Mr Bojangles is right
As he danced my way he told me
I hold on to the logic I know are just excuses
Because the truth is harder than it seems to be.
For me.

(And) you know what I want
But I know what you need
You just didn't see
You could have had me
Positively clueless
And they say I even deserve someone better.
I just knew you were enough.
I just knew you were enough.

There's the ship waiting for me
Only I worry about you
On that road you're taking.
I'm holding your hand
You were with me for a while
But now I know I'm alone in this
and I'm holding you too tight , Hold Away Jack
You're already looking away
Ready to take that journey
And sadly I can't go with you
I have my own journey to take too
So slowly I'm learning to let go.

took all the steps
still you lost a good thing here
will you realize it
I'd like to believe I'll be there forever
I still like to believe it.
My sweetest fallacy.

salingket

I'm next in line
when she's not around
when you think there's no chance
i'm the one you'll call
and i'll say yes
your salingket.

Thank You

It's been a very busy year. But definitely most loved.
I got to do a lot of things that I've planned earlier.
But I didn't get the wishes I made.
It's okay. =)
I got to play. Share the music I loved to a lot of people.
And best of all, I've met the truest friends.
So thank you, especially for:
(1) those who were always there in my life, even though at times I've chosen to turn my back in favor of other people who I thought were true friends of mine. I came back, and you welcomed me with open arms. Remember the tears hehehe? They were for the wrong people. You know the story.
(2) those who are new in my life and chose to understand me and be my friend, inspite of my weaknesses (read: topak). people in (1) will let you know there's always a reason behind it, it's just not always obvious as i'm good in hiding my feelings.
(3) those who made me feel good during the times there were people who made my life worse. ang galing nyo! if i were handling it alone, nasa pinas na ko. =) this year was not an easy ride for me, if you only knew. but i chose to be happy, and in turn, God gave me you. so thank you for being God's instruments in my life. His Love for me shone through you. Another year ahead... promise I'll stop being maldita na hehehe... whatever it brings, raaakkeeenn!!!

This is not a poem

i fell in love and lost the battle..
You brought me far away from those who love me...
You gave me music but then You took it all away
Friends came and then left,
It's all starting to bear on me.

Why can't I just listen?
Even if You assure me of Your plans,
of Your might hand,
Why am I still feeling lost?
Why do I still have the urge to run away?
Why can't I trust that even if I seem to drift, You're here with me?

My misery has worn out my listener
For who can love such company
I wish I could say I can choose to be happy
but in the midst of my worship, I'm feeling crushed
no longer in control, no longer the happy follower
only broken & weary as I look at You on the cross.

How many times did I feel this way?
It's like a no ending ferriz wheel ride for me
When I'm down, I try very hard to put myself up
Reaching to everyone, someone to give me a hand
But when I finally do and reach that certain high
Time seems too fast, too short...
and then I find myself downcast again
falling slowly..
I'm getting tired of it.

That's why I want to run away
to somewhere safe where I won't be hurt
where I won't fall
where people don't judge, assume something apart from who I truly am
and will not be able to hurt me this way.

You know my heart Lord
I like to believe that even if it's not perfect
that sometimes I can still make You smile
that sometimes I'm capable of what's right in Your eyes
But this time I'm just too hurt, too worn out
Let Your Spirit rain down.

God is good

Though I may not understand
All the plans You have for me
My life is in Your Hands
and through the eyes of faith
I can clearly see...

Paulit Ulit Lang Naman.

nagsimula silang magbiro
manuro ng ibang tao
kaya nga napatingin
sa sulok mong tinaguan

nakita ko habang ika'y
lihim na nangiti sa biro nila
kung alam mo lang...
sana'y nakita ko na lang
na iba ang iyong naramdaman

bakit kasi nahulog pa
wala namang katuturan
lam ko namang may pinagbibigyan ka lang
kaya't posibleng bagay gustong pigilan

lalayo na ko talaga
naunahan mo lang naman
kung ayaw mo, eh di ayaw ko rin
hayaang mamuti na lang ang yong mata
habang hinihintay mong pansinin ko ang tawag mong makulit...
naghihintay sa wala.

"laging naniniwala.
ndi nagsasawa.
nahilo sa gayuma.
kaya nawawala.
laging umaasa.
ano bang meron sya?
paulit ulit lang naman.
pinapaikot ka.
walang kadala dala.
napapatulala.
naghihintay sa wala."

ewan ko... ndi ko alam...

Sabi-sabi:
Your close friends and family members will always be in your life, ready to make you smile -- but when push comes to shove (as it probably will today), you are the only person who can completely understand the battles you've fought, the lessons you've learned, and the skills you possess. So if you need to get some clarity on where you are and where you're going, consult the best expert possible -- yourself! Have an internal dialogue, and listen to your gut.

me: so ano lilipat ba tayo ng OZ?
self: ikaw. pwede naman. nakita mo yung post for opening. swak ka dun.
me: eh ayutuh na eh. :(
self: pero sayang naman lahat ng nagawa mo na. eto pang me opening na, willing to sponsor ka.
me: eh pano na yan ang dami ko ng gamit, tamad na kong magpalipat lipat, wala na kong ginawa kundi lumipat.
self: nomad ka kasi, ndi ka rin matutuwa kung matengga ka dito. kaunting panahon lang, maiinip ka na naman.
me: at mababato. katulad ngayon, kausap ko na naman sarili ko.
self: haay, hanubayan, hihikain ako sa yo. hirap mong sabayan hanggang kanto.
me: ano na nga, wala pa rin tayong desisyon?
self: san ka ba masaya.
me: sa pinas.
self: eh di sa pinas ka na lang. sabi ka ng sabing uuwi ka na, lagi na lang ganyan. sabi mo hanggang 2007 ka lang.
me: kaya nga. kaya nga mag OOZ.
self: OOZ OOZ ... ZOO na bagsak mo nyan.
me: ewan ko... ndi ko lam... wag na lang nating pag-usapan.

"field trip sa may pagawaan ng lapis, ay katulad ng buhay natin, isang mahabang pila, at walang katuturan."

ang fanget muh.

I hate these games we play
It's making me crazy
thinkin' about you ev'ryday
are you really just scared?
or am i just makin' believe?
I can't trust you
That's all there is to say.

FW: Thank You

DEAR GOD:
I want to thank You for what you have already done.

* I am not going to wait until I see results or receive rewards; I am thanking you right now.
* I am not going to wait until I feel better or things look better; I am thanking you right now.
* I am not going to wait until people say they are sorry or until they stop talking about me; I am thanking you right now.
* I am not going to wait until the pain in my body disappears ; I am thanking you right now.
* I am not going to wait until my financial situation improves; I am going to thank you right now.
* I am not going to wait until the children are asleep and the house is quiet; I am going to thank you right now.
* I am not going to wait until I get promoted at work or until I get the job; I am going to thank you right now.
* I am not going to wait until I understand every experience in my life that has caused me pain or grief; I am thanking you right now.
* I am not going to wait until the journey gets easier or the challenges are removed; I am thanking you right now.
* I am thanking you because I am alive.
* I am thanking you because I made it through the day's difficulties.
* I am thanking you because I have walked around the obstacles.
* I am thanking you because I have the ability and the opportunity to do more and do better.

I'm thanking you because, FATHER, YOU haven't given up on me.

God is just so good, and he's good all the time.

umagang kay ganda

"Wag ka mag alala, wala akong kaaway.
Nabawasan lang ng kaibigan, pero ayos lang yon.
Ganyan talaga ang buhay.
Basta't tayoy, magkasama, laging merong umagang kay ganda! :)"

--markmaya

Regalo Ni Lord

Malapit ng mag-ending ang kabanata.
Kaunting panahon na lang, panibago na naman.
Mabuti na lang at kahit papaano may nagbago
May mga pangyayaring nagbigay buhay sa panahon.
Magandang ending sa patapos na tagpo.

Malungkot at Masaya
Pag dumating na ang takda
na dapat ng magpaalam.
Ngunit kahit sa maikling oras
Ako pa ri'y nagpapasalamat.
Dahil sa mga pag-uunlak, sa pagtanggap ng pakikipagkaibigan.
Tunay ngang marami kong natutunan.
Tunay ngang maraming nagpaligaya.

Kaya't sa kaunting nalalabi,
Lulubusin ko na.
Sa lahat na bukas ang loob na ako'y tanggapin
Pupunuuin ang natitirang oras pang ibinigay sa kin.
Babaunin lahat ng iyong panaginip
kwento ng buhay at mga hagikhik
Hanggang sa paunlakan na nga ng Maykatha
Na baguhin ang storya kong hinihibi.

At sa darating na panahon
Na ako'y mamaalam ng totoo
Lahat ng baon mula sa yo kaibigan
Aking bibigyang halagang lubos.
Ndi man tayo magkita ng muli, mabuti't naisip na sadyang maikli
kaya't ang panahong ating ginugol
Tunay kong matatamisin.

Hindi mo pa alam, baka nga mauna ka pa
Magbago rin ng storya dahil sa mga plano sa buhay.
Basta para sa kin, lagi ko tong iisipin
Para bawat saglit, may halaga para sa kin.

Di bale ng walang picture
Di bale ng walang video
Basta't tatatasan ko na lang ang mapurol kong isipan
O dadaanin na lang sa essence of chicken ang lahat.

Yan ang regalo ni Lord.
Bago payagang ako'y lumayag paibayo.
Thank you po.
Malapit na.

FW: Caller ID

On a Saturday night several weeks ago, this pastor was working late, and decided to call his wife before he left for home. It was about 10:00 PM, but his wife didn't answer the phone.
The pastor let the phone ring many times. He thought it was odd that she didn't answer, but decided to wrap up a few things and try again in a few minutes. When he tried again she answered right away. He asked her why she hadn't answered before, and she said that it hadn't rung at their house. They brushed it off as a fluke and went on their merry ways.
The following Monday, the pastor received a call at the church office, which was the phone that he'd used that Saturday night. The man that he spoke with wanted to know why he'd called on Saturday night.
The pastor couldn't figure out what the man was talking about. Then the man said, "It rang and rang, but I didn't answer." The pastor remembered the mishap and apologized for disturbing him, explaining that he'd intended to call his wife.
The man said, "That's, OK. Let me tell you my story.
You see, I was planning to commit suicide on Saturday night, but before I did, I prayed, 'God if you're there, and you don't want me to do this, give me a sign now.' At that point my phone started to ring. I looked at the caller ID, and it said, 'Almighty God'. I was afraid to answer!"
The reason why it showed on the man's caller ID that the call came from "Almighty God" is because the church that the pastor attends is called Almighty God Tabernacle!!

Father's Day

The story of the prodigal son touches my heart because it's about the patience of a father to wait for his son. He showed unconditional love when the son returned to him.

They say that with parents, giving unconditional love is natural for them. But children like us, will always expect too much from them. It's never enough.

I grew up handling the joy and pain of being a kid of an impatient guy. He's very quick to temper and a disciplinarian. Sometimes, I try to explain his actions to my friends, who have witnessed how he can be unreasonable at times. But through it all I was lucky that God gave me the chance to know my father's wonderful side at a young age that even to this day that he gets crappy (^_^), I can still love him unconditionally.

From time to time, I would remember the night when I went to visit the house of my aunt. I think I was around five years old back then. I've been wanting to go home but my grandmother, who took me to my aunt's house, didn't want to go back to our home. I know my father will be looking for me so I waited for him to come. But the night came and he still didn't show up. I didn't have a choice but to stay.

Then, at the break of dawn, I woke up and saw, from the window, a glimpse of a man coming from the street. I knew it was my father but I wasn't sure. He knocked for a long time, and I just stared at the window. I wanted my aunt to open the door, but being a shy girl, I couldn't bring my self to wake her up. In the end, my dad decided to go home. But not without trying long enough to wake someone up. Only, it was just me who woke up and not anyone else. I watched as he turned his back, walk away, turned again and watch the house, then went home.

Up until this day, my eyes well up whenever I remember it. I know, once my father is forever gone, I will, forever, hold on to this memory. As I grew up, I saw his imperfections. I saw the good and bad things. And, like any other human being, I sometimes fail to love him. But whenever I feel this way, my mind (and heart) brings me back to that memory of my childhood, when my father showed me love unconditionally, with that simple look as he was trying to decide whether to leave me there or continue to knock at the door. By going to my aunt's house after work, in the wee hours of the morning, he was hoping that he can gather his family to sleep in one roof that day as he watch over us.

Even up until today, my father will not sleep until he knows everyone who plans to go home will be in the house.

My bro doesn't know this. But I silently watch sometimes, while he waits for him. Father-Son relationship is always a different thing. I wish I could explain to bro that inspite of their differences, my father loves him. But sometimes you have to let life take it's course when everything else you try to do fails.

Back to my story, I still haven't mentioned it to my father. Because everytime I try, I feel the lump in my throat growing. I hope one day I get the chance.

Happy Father's Day!

Fw: Trusting to Listen

I love this sermon. It summarizes what I want to achieve in my Faith right now. She puts everything point by point. But she really nailed it when she quoted Max Lucado,

Max Lucado says "To know God's will we must totally surrender to God's will. Our tendency is to make God's decision for him. Don't go to God with options and expect him to choose one of your preferences. Go to him with empty hands - no hidden agendas, no crossed fingers, nothing behind your back. Go to him with a willingness to do whatever he says. If you surrender your will, then he will 'equip you with everything good for doing his will.'

Visit christchurchsummit.org for more revealing sermons.

GB!

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Trusting to Listen
By Joy Mounts --> http://www.christchurchsummit.org/Sermons-2003/031109-TrustingToListen.html

November 9, 2003

Hebrews 11: 1

Let the words of my mouth and the mediations of each heart here be acceptable in your sight, oh, God.

Listening for God in our lives is something that we have hard time doing. God may be presenting us with answers to prayer and we dismiss it because we are expecting something else. We forget that God is unexpected, mysterious, eternal, and intimate. We forget that God may be standing right in front of us and we do not see God because we are looking up or down or sideways. We do not always trust ourselves or God enough to listen.

For example, a man heard that his neighborhood was flooding due to a heavy rain storm. He got down on his knees and prayed to God: "Dear God, save me from the coming flood!" The waters began to rise and a truck came by and the driver said, "Get in and I'll drive you to higher ground." The man said no, God would save him. The waters continued to rise. A woman in a boat rowed by. She called, "Jump into the boat and I will row you to safety." The man said no, God would save him. The floodwaters continued to rise. The man was perched on the roof of his house. A helicopter flew by and let down a rope for the man to grab onto. "I will fly you to safety," yelled the pilot. "No." the man said, "I am waiting for God to save me." The man drowned. He got to the heaven hopping mad. "What are you doing here?" God asked. The man said, "God! I am mad at you! I asked you to save me from the flood and you did not!" God smiled and said, "I sent you a truck, a boat and helicopter? How much more saving did you need?"

Trust is like that. We want to trust God. We want to agree with the Psalmist to "Trust God all the time."We want to say with Isaiah "I will trust God at all times and not be afraid."But we want God to appear and tell us to trust God. It is like parachuting, in theory it sound fine, but to get the parachute to do what it is designed for, we have to jump out of the plane first! Our lives are hard to figure out! So, we make bargains. "God if such and such happens then I will know it is really You talking or showing me the way and then I will trust You and do what it is you would have me do. But if I don't see this or hear that, then I will think it is only what I had for dinner last night and not listen." I will not trust what my heart is telling me. I will not trust what my soul is telling me. I will fail to trust God and lose the opportunities that God is showing me. What I really want God, in order to trust you is a memo of some kind. An e-mail would be nice or a few lines floating down from on high to help me out. But God does not send e-mails!

Frederick Buechner tells of a time when he was terribly depressed. He parked by the roadside to pray, a car appeared and passed him. The license plate said TRUST. He says, "What do you call a moment like that? Something to laugh off like the kind of joke life plays on us every once in a while? The Word of God? I am willing to believe it is something of both but for me it was an epiphany."The owner of the car turned out to work for a bank as a trust officer. After he read an account of the story he sent Buechner his own license plate. It sits on his shelf, and as he says "it is a little rusty around the edges but as holy a relic as I have seen."Trust alone is not always easy. We all want that sign. We all want our own license plate. After all to trust God is to throw caution to the wind. To leave ourselves open, to be vulnerable.

Trust can be defined as a confident expectation. Isn't the point that as believers we have a confident expectation that God is inter-tangled in our lives? That God is watching out for us, with us? We can look to a loving God who wants only the best for us, even when we sometimes do not understand what the best is? Even if it is painful? Trusting God is not always taking the road we think we should. Sometimes, trusting God means doing what is unknown and all the risks that entails. Abraham and Sarah stared in astonishment when told they would be the parents of a great nation. They knew they were too old. Sarah laughed at this cosmic joke! But the promise was fulfilled despite their uncertainties because they put their trust in the Messenger. Moses was told to go back to Egypt and lead the people of Israel out of slavery. He was to demand Pharaoh release them! Demand to a Pharaoh? He sputtered and muttered and challenged the burning bush to give him the plan, in full. God simply said "I am who I am! Now go!" Moses listened with doubts of all kinds and finally trusted God would be present with him as promised. Trusting does not mean you do not have doubts. Indeed it may be that doubts are what propel us to trust. The disciples gave up their ordinary lives to follow one who they knew was the Messiah. They were not turned overnight into angels but remained men and women who questioned, bargained and wanted to know - "where are we going? What's in this for me? Can't you let us in on the plan Jesus?" Jesus said: "Follow me and I will make you fish for people."In other words trust me, let's go, we have work to do! They went.

Even Jesus seeing that the stakes had been raised to the point of certain death hesitated. His eleventh hour prayer in the Garden of Gethsemane is a man trying to grapple with all that is before him. How many times have we prayed similar prayers! Yet Jesus also trusted God that would see him through, his reply to his own question. "Not what I want but what you want."After an internal struggle, Jesus trusted God, who, he knew, would not abandon him. A God whose plan to be completed required a great deal of trust on Jesus side. Jesus could have said "you know God; I am not too sure about this, look where it has gotten me. I mean, I am doing the work you asked me to do, but the stakes have suddenly gotten higher than I bargained for. I know you said you would stick with me, no matter what, but I think all this is leading to my death, in fact, I am sure of it. Death! So if it is all the same to you, I think the boys and I will head back to Nazareth where I have a nice little carpentry business and we'll call it a day?" Of course, Jesus did not say that. Jesus, with the sweat and blood on his brow, listened, trusted that despite the way it looked, this was his part in the plan. Jesus surrendered his will to God's. He gave his life to fulfill God's love for us.

In order to truly trust God, we must be open to what God lays in front of us. We must accept that we do not have all the answers. We must accept that maybe God knows a thing or two more than us. This is hard. After all our culture tells us that we have all the tools we need to make all the decisions we can ever need. Can't I yahoo or google God and come up with the same answers? Unfortunately not.

Max Lucado says "To know God's will we must totally surrender to God's will. Our tendency is to make God's decision for him. Don't go to God with options and expect him to choose one of your preferences. Go to him with empty hands - no hidden agendas, no crossed fingers, nothing behind your back. Go to him with a willingness to do whatever he says. If you surrender your will, then he will 'equip you with everything good for doing his will.'"This is not what our intuitions tell us to do. Surrender does not come easily. I have lived this and so have you. We all have our Gethsemane moments.

For years I had felt God calling me to another life. But I was busy with a career I loved. Then through the workings of the corporate world, I found myself in a position to fulfill this dream. I came to Drew. Yet I was tentative, shying away from the reason my heart was telling me I was there. I was a teacher not a minister! But....in the back of my mind, a voice I was shaking away kept calling me. "Why aren't you fully listening?" I replied "I am here aren't I?" "Yes," the voice replied "you are but are you there for the reason I want you to be?" "Leave me alone," I said, "I have papers to write and tests to study for - do you have any idea how long it has been since I took a test?" "I think I might have a general idea," the voice replied. "What are you afraid of my child?" "Me afraid?" I said quaking. "I am starting a whole new chapter of my life. Of course I am scared. But I am not scared of being a minister; it's just that I think I am supposed to be a professor!" "Trust me," the voice said; "the plans you have made are not what I want you to be." And so it went for a whole year. I refused to lean into the trust of God and throw caution to the wind and accept that I really should be a minister. My friends and family and advisors, patiently listening to me arguing with God and let me argue.

Until finally, I broke. I felt the storm welling up inside of me and I knew that the voice had been right all along. I had not wanted to trust God and come to Drew as a minister. Frankly it scared me. Where would God lead me? Where would I go? I like to know these things. I like to kid myself into thinking I am in charge. However, in order to fulfill what God has for me - I have to trust God. So one day at 3:00 o'clock in the morning, I called out: "God, you win!" And God said, "No you do." I changed my degree program this summer and with Augustine I can say "My heart was restless until it was at rest in thee."

Isn't that one of the biggest elements of trust - listening to God? Trust is listening. Listening for God in your life. Listening as God speaks however softly or loudly that may be. And not just hearing that God is speaking but really listening. It may be surprising whose mouth the words of God come from and in what experience. Frederick Buechner wrote "The question is not whether the things that happen to you are chance things or God things because of course they are both at once. There is no chance thing, which God cannot speak through. He speaks, I believe, and the words he speaks are incarnate in the flesh and blood of our selves and our own footsore and sacred journeys. We cannot live our lives constantly looking back; listening back, lest we be turned into pillars of longing and regret but to live without listening at all is to live deaf to the fullness of the music. "

In order to be open we have to get out of own way to hear what God is saying in the small crossroads in our lives as well as the big junctures. This is not easy. We need to step outside of ourselves to be open to the possibilities. We need to step outside of the obstacles we set before ourselves and trust. Listening is part of the creative process of living. Madeleine L'Engle wrote "When the work takes over, then the artist is enabled to get out of the way, not to interfere. When the work takes over, then the artist listens. Before he can listen, paradoxically he must work. Getting out of the way and listening is not something that comes easily, either in art or in prayer."We want to be the ones making all the decisions. We forget somehow that trusting God is all about letting go.

"Let Go and Let God."How easy to say that to others, how hard to hear it ourselves. In trusting God we need to learn to trust ourselves to trust God. To really let go is to open the door for God to be there with us, around us. We are stubborn. And this stubbornness becomes a wall of not trusting. The wall become thick as our refusal to trust solidifies. Not trusting can turn into fear. And fear makes us smaller. Fear robs us of the joy of living life to its fullest. Trust restores. Trust lifts us up. "I will trust and will not be afraid for the Lord God is my strength and my song"Isaiah shouted. "I can do all things through God who gives me strength"Philippians 4 verse 13 is what got me through cancer six years ago. But I can only do all things through God if I trust that God will get me through all things. If I rely only on my own strength I will falter and be weary. As Julian of Norwich proclaimed Jesus "wants us to trust that he is constantly with us, in heaven.., in earth..., .....And in our soul."If I do not then I will never make it off the shore into the waters of life. How often have I said okay God, watch me I am diving in where you leading me only to realize that my while my hands are in the water, my feet are firmly planted back on the shore of my will. How much of life will pass me by if I do so? How much of life am I willing to let pass me by?

There is a sign that my sister Julie gave me that used to hang in my office and now hangs in my apartment. She gave it to me after a particularly hard time in my life. It says "Joy, Trust Me. I have everything under control. Jesus." I put it where I pass it every day. It is my reminder to be open and listen and not get in my own way. To listen for that still small voice and trust God's will for my life. I am still learning not to fight but to trust. I think that in this I am part of a large crowd! We all have trouble really trusting. Really letting go and jumping into the ever-lasting arms! We are all still learning to lean into God's love and trust what God has planned. But we are also learning how much God loves each one of us. It is this love that let's us shout with Isaiah that God has given us strength and we will sing God's praises for the wondrous things God has done! It is this love that God has for us that helps us to slowly learn to lean into God's trust, love, and hope for us all. Learning to totally trust God and be vulnerable may be a lifetime of learning for each and every one of us. But it is as we strive to do so that we may be able to say with conviction - let go and let God. Amen.

i hear you...

 but i just can see more to it than just what you say....

"It's not only about happiness being on your own. Or being in a relationship. It's a lot to do with knowing that our decisions affect other people. If you choose to be in a relationship, you necessarily have to be responsible for that person. Anyone who thinks otherwise should not be in that space to begin with. "

-- from a friend.

if you could just find that point where you realize you have a lot to give... and not be afraid of failing or getting hurt or being disappointed..

 

that inspite of imperfections, life with someone can still make you happy.

 

if you could.

 

then maybe.

 

just maybe.

 

but then maybe not.

i got the answers, now to face the day.

It was my will to fall.

 

It was His will to wait.

 

'Til I'm ready to face the answer.

 

'Til I'm ready to be saved.

 

The silence was killing me.

 

But now the answer is here.

 

Next thing to face is how to overcome.

 

Am I ready to be picked up and carried away?

 

My Lord awaits.

 

To prove my love I need to show him I can be stronger.

 

To prove my worth, to receive such a straight answer, is God's grace. In turn, I want to show him I can face the next wave.

 

You've made me stronger by breaking my heart
You ended my life and made a better one start
You've taught me everything from fallin' in love
To letting go of a lie.

 

ang corny.

 

nyek. (^_^)

 

FW: Peace With Ourselves by Mary Wilder Tileston - Joy and Strength Reflection

Joy and Strength Reflection yesterday from devotions.org

DO, I entreat you,

drive away all these anxious thoughts which hinder your soul,

and try to serve God cheerfully.

Be resolute in overcoming self,

and in hearing with your mental troubles whatever they be, leaving all to God,

and doing whatever you know to be His will,

quickly and heartily;

be gentle, patient, humble, and courteous to all,

but especially be gentle and patient with yourself.

Bakit magulo ang utak??? kassiii....

".... I think that many of your troubles arise from an exaggerated anxiety, a secret impatience with your own faults;
and this restlessness, when once it has got possession of your mind, is the cause of numberless trifling faults,
which worry you, and go on adding to your burden until it becomes unbearable...."

Pero, wag syadong parusahan ang sarili....

"... I would have you honest in checking and correcting yourself,
but at the same time patient under the consciousness of your frailty...."

Remember that Jesus our Lord loves to dwell within a quiet heart,
and to come to those who are at peace with themselves;
restlessness and anxiety hinder our seeing Him,
even when He is beside us and speaking to us.

PURE HYACINTHE BESSON

"Now the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, that ye may abound in hope, through the power of the Holy Ghost. " -- ROMANS 15:13

Took my love, I took it down. Will the landslide bring you down?

Regressing mode.

Listening to some ol' songs. 90s to be exact. Ganito pala ang tumatanda. Hindi mo na alam kung ano ang definition ng "old". Sa generation ko kasi, pag sinabi mong old, 50s or 60s. Lately ko na lang narealize na sa panahon ngayon, kasama na sa old ang 80s and 90s.

Back to my playlist. I used to listen to this when I was in college. Some I listen to when I was starting my first job. Uist, sabay palang nagtratrabaho at nag-aaral nung college. Pero hanggang dyan na lang. Too much info na.

Medyo napahinto ko sa ginagawa ko ng biglang nagsalita si Kurt Cobain sa earphone. This was during the MTV Unplugged. Wow. Living the dead. Tinatanong nya kung sya na lang ba ang tutugtog nung kanta. Sabi ng bandmates sige ikaw na. Sabi nya o sige, pero gamitin ko na lang yung normal chords. Kung hindi magwork, eh maghintay na lang muna tong mga nakikinig.

Haay. I miss you Kurt. Sana hinintay mo na lang muna na mapanood kita bago ka nawala sa mundo. Masyadong naging mabilis matupad ang mga pangarap mo. Masyado ka rin nagmadali at nawalan ng gagawin sa mundo. Kung sana lang naging mas malawak ang perspective mo sa buhay, kung hindi ka na lang nakulong sa mundo, mas makikita mong marami pang posibleng pagkaabalahan dito.

Tamo si Rico. Nagsawa. Hayan, mukhang magiging pulitiko na lang.

Mas naging melodrama ang mood ng marinig ko na si Billy Corgan. Wow. Smashing Pumpkin. I remember hackling my friend for my monito gift. I literally drag him to the CD shop just to buy me Adore.

To think na mas nauna pa si Corgan magcontemplate ng suicide, noong sumikat ang Nirvana at naisip nya na palubog na sila.

And the greatest irony was Corgan was able to reverse his mindframe, practically living a period of his life in the studio to come up with another great album(Siamese Dream) while Cobain fed his melancholy by overdosing.

Oh Well.

Eto na lang. Magdidisect na lang ako ng kanta, Landslide ng Smashing Pumpkin. Mukhang eto ang nagiging theme song ng buhay ko lately.

Bababawan ko lang. Wag syadong seryoso.

Took my love, I took it down
Narealize na nainlove. Ng malaman, ginawa ang lahat para mamamatay ang love.

Climbed a mountain and I turned around
Parang isang malaking pagsubok na kelangang lampasan.

And I saw my reflection in the snow covered hills, 'til a landslide brought me down
Ayos na sana, wagi na sa lahat. Biglang may isang malaking pangyayaring binalik ako sa naramdaman.

Yaaiks. Jologs ata. Eh jologs kwentuhan naman to. So ok lang. Nakikibasa lang naman kayo. (^_^)

Oh, mirror in the sky, what is love?
Ano ba kasi tong nararamdaman?

Can the child within by heart rise above?
Kayanin ko ba, ganitong kulang pa sa karanasan?

Can I sail through the changing ocean tides?
Kaya ko bang sumuong sa kabilang direksyon ng unos?

Can I handle the seasons of my life?
Kaya ko pa bang salubungin ang iba pang darating sa buhay ko?

Well I've been afraid of changing, 'cause I've built my life around you
Ayoko na sanang harapin ang mga pagbabago sa buhay ko. Masyado kong nasanay na mabuhay ng may pag-ibig sa isip ko.

But time makes you bolder, even children get older, I'm gettin' older, too
Pero ngayong sinasalubong na rin ako ng taon sa buhay ko, mas kaya ko na kayang harapin ang pagtanda ko?
Tumatanda na rin ang mga bata. Tumatanda na rin ako.

Took my love, I took it down
Climbed a mountain and I turned around
And if you see my reflection in the snow covered hills, will the landslide bring you down?

At kung sakaling malaman mo, na pareho tayo ng nararamdaman,
Maging isang malaking paggising din ba sa yo ito?
parang isang landslide na ang impact tulad sa kin.
Kakayanin mo rin ba to?

o-ha.

Your Presence is keeping me still

When it all seems dark, like passing a dark tunnel, and only finding the slightest trace of light at the end of it.

 

When at last you think you've reached that certain place where all seems to be well and good, but then again you find yourself, in front of another dark tunnel,
another road to take.

 

When all seems to loom on you, and there's no way to turn back or run ahead.

 

When all you can think about is to stop, sit down in the middle of the road,
and wait until life pass you by and drag you off your feet.

 

When all you can do is to ask "How far can the light be now?". You want to believe in order to see, yet you're not seeing. And in midst of this darkness, all you want to have is peace.

 

When all you can say "No more, I had enough." There's nothing left in you to fight, and finish this journey.

 

Remember that God was with you in the darkness, and that even if you don't see, He's still with you in this road you're taking. He's working in the day, hardest in the night, winning your battles, inspite of your weariness.

 

You've passed every tunnel, seen every light, because He was carrying you at times when all you want to do was give up the fight.

 

Because in this life, there is no constant victory. Yet we have His constant love, His faithfulness. Inspite of our own brokenness.

 

"Could it be You're with me..
Though I doubt, You patiently wait
Staying by my side, 'til I recognize
Your Presence is keeping me still."

You raise your chin so high, you can't see the crap in your feet

How do you start to know a person? Be true first to yourself. Without reservation, open your heart to the person. You'll be surprise how fast you'll learn about him. As easily you open yourself to people, they easily open their selves to you.

It's often hard to wear your heart on your sleeve. But it doesn't mean you'll need to do this permanently. Remember that your goal is to know the person, to measure his heart.

It takes a lot to master this skill. By experience, I've been burned a thousand times, unknowingly leading myself to being hurt by the other person. The biggest disadvantage of opening your heart to a person are malicious slandering and being misjudged. Being judged by that person at all is already unfair. But most people do this unconsciously, sometimes as part of their defense mechanism. Best thing to do is to not take it personally. I learned that the hard way.

On the other hand, I have known great friends because of this. I have built long-lasting relationships with people like them because with them, you don't need pretension. You know where you stand. They can accept you as who you are, good or bad. At the same time, you know your line with these people, because they too know when to open their hearts to you, even by words or by just mere action.

Be prepared to not be accepted by those people you want to get close with. Nobody's perfect. But being vulnerable teaches you to accept other people's weaknesses. This process will show you what a person is made of. From that, you will learn the good and the bad, and whether you'll be able to accept him as a whole person. And how much of you will he able to accept. By that, when he makes the mistake of hurting you, you already know when to turn your back or when to accept him.

I can't be with a person who can only accept my good traits, or at least those that he finds good in me. I can't also change the bad just to live my life on his term. I am already happy being me. And for those who judge, take a good look at how you're living your life. You raise your chin so high, you can't see the shit in your feet. You judge others, hiding in the fact that you're the biggest and worst judge of yourself. Always finding fault, and thus holding back, while as a defense, critizing other people.

You say, "aren't we all?". And I say no. Not all. And how wonderful life can be if everyone just see what "let live" means.

Someday.

Alone and misunderstood
That's why i came to You
The feelings i have inside
With You, i can't hide

I see that life's a game
Get hurt, but who's to blame
I guess i'm just a child
In a world that's very wild

Where can i find a place that's full of tenderness
I get there when i close my eyes and hold and pray
That You and i will be there

Someday, i say
We'll make a brighter day better than our yesterday
Someday, i say
We'll make a brighter day but today's our chance to be there
(this is our chance to be there)

Is there a room for change
There are things to rearrange
I thought that we are so young
And temptations are strong

But i've got to start with me
It?s hard but let it be
It may take some time
Fixing up a perfect life

Where can i find a place that's full of tenderness (tell me, tell me)
I get there when i close my eyes and hold and pray (pray)
That You and i will be there

Once in a while, you get down and get wild
Set the rain hope so i took some dope
What happened to your start, not a dumb old fun
I had renewed my faith, better not be late
"cause i hate to go back again wasting my life and sin
I got my Lord to obey now, so i say now
Take a ride home, go, take a ride home, go
Back to the Father

To do the chance to be there
Someday, i say
But today's our chance
We?ll make a brighter day and today's our chance to be there

Written By Barbie Almalbis.

He Never Sleeps

"Shall I refuse to drink the cup of sorrow which the Father has given me to drink?" (John 18:11, Weymouth).

When you've prayed every prayer that you know how to pray.

Just remember the Lord will hear and the answer is on it's way.

Our God is able.

He is mighty.

He is faithful.

And He never sleeps, He never slumbers.

He never tires of hearing our prayer.

When we are weak He becomes stronger.

So rest in His love and cast all of your cares on Him.

Do you feel that the Lord has forgotten your need.

Just remember that God is always working in ways you cannot see.

Our God is able.

He is mighty.

He is faithful.

 

The bible tells us to cast all our cares on Him.

Because He cares for us.

My friend, this is more than a promise.

It's a command.

So be at rest.

Because today... God is working in ways that You can not see.

He never sleeps.

He nerver slumbers.

We live not for ourselves, but for God; for some purpose of His; for some special end to be accomplished, which He has willed to be accomplished by you alone, and not by another; something which will be left undone or be done as it should be, if you, as the one He ordained to do it, has not done anything.

We live gifted with certain forms of spiritual gift and grace, for some purpose of Divine Love to be fulfilled by us, some idea of His Divine Mind to be seen through you... imaged forth in your creaturely state.

Our God is able. He is faithful.

So rest in His Love...

....and cast all of your cares on Him.

You're the one that puts fire in my soul.

Friend, if I am quiet... if it seems that I'm closing my door to you…. If I smile and then look aloof… It's not you. It's me. I'm afraid everything's written in my face nowadays. And I fear you’re already too close to the truth. Yes, I’m playing a masquerade. I long to talk to you again, to share those happy smiles... the laughter. But I don't have the courage to reach out lately, specially to you. You don't know though, but once you look away, I follow you with my gaze. And I pray to God that somehow He’ll moved you to look back at me again. If not, then only a miracle from Him can bring you back to me. This time for something more real.

And if people say it’s not you but some other person, they’re wrong.

Because there's a powerful message today that touched my heart.

For the past weeks... no, months, I was living a life of confusion. I still am. I have reached a point where I've already decided to let go. To run away again.

I opened Streams today and I saw this...

"Fear not Daniel, from the first day you made up your mind to acquire understanding and humble yourself before God, your prayer was heard. Because of it I started out, but the prince of the kingdom of Persia stood in my way for twenty-one days, until finally Michael, one of the chief princes, came to help me. I left him there with the prince of the kings of Persia and came to make you understand what shall happen to your people in the days to come; for there is yet a vision concerning those days." Daniel 10:12-14

As I was reading this, I felt overwhelmed. But yes, I still had the doubt in my heart. And that's why I know now that I'm being disturbed by the enemy.

"Daniel, beloved, understand the words which I am speaking to you; stand up, for my mission now is to you." Daniel 10:11.

And I can only answer back with the same words that Daniel had said, "I heard, but I did not understand; so I asked, "My lord, what follows this?" Daniel 12:8.

Just like Daniel, these days, I don't have the strength or breath left in me. Is this same message for me? How can I be sure? I'm already so weak I don't even have the strength to believe.

"Fear not, beloved, you are safe; take courage and be strong." Daniel 10:19

In my mind, I know He’s by my side. But my heart is too clouded; I am not in control anymore.

And as Daniel have said, i pray "Speak, my Lord, for You have strengthened me."

“Don't worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. If you do this, you will experience God's peace, which is far more wonderful than the human mind can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus" (Philippians 4:6-7, NLT).

So I pray,

I already know who the cause of this confusion is. And to overcome, I need to go away for awhile. To not see or talk to him for awhile. At least until everything's ok with me, and the cloud of confusion has passed by. It's funny that our enemy knows so much about me, I am so easily overturned by him. But with You, nothing's impossible. I need to rest in You. I praise and worship You for standing by my side.

I really didn't mean for love to happen. I just realized I was falling. And I have been here before. I know what this will lead me too. So I'll deal with it the only way I know how. And that's to stay away the soonest possible.

I’m sorry for giving up the one thing I love. But I can serve You in other ways, You know that.

This time though I need Your love and guidance badly. To always feel Your presence. Because I already know what unrequited love is all about. This time I already am acquainted with the pain. And that’s why I’m so afraid. We’ve been together in the past, helping me battle the same field. And though others might be willing to listen and help, You’re the only one who truly understood. So please be my guiding light, loving and caring like no one could.

Humbly.. I come before you.
Hold me... I offer my life.
Offering a less and perfect heart.
You're the one I'm living for.
You're the one that I adore.

You're the one that puts fire in my soul.

babay!

pahinga na muna.
taguan pung.
nagpaalam na.
bibitiw muna.
kelan kaya ko babalik?
paminsan-minsan na lang siguro.
pag hindi makatanggi.
pero ndi na magsisimula.

 

"close your eyes
so you dont feel them
they dont need to see you cry
i can't promise i will heal you
but if you want to i can try..."

 

i believe without a doubt in You.

 

& for the others, c u soon.

 

Pupil is coming to SG

From Barnone site:

Bar None Rock Affair featuring Pupil and The Great Spy Experiment - Sunday, May 27, 8pm - The Bar None Rock Affair returns with Pupil, one of Philippines' best-selling rock bands. Don't miss this opportunity to get up close and personal with the charming quartet fronted by Ely Buendia, ex-frontman of The Eraserheads. Singapore act The Great Spy Experiment opens. Tickets at $25 (inclusive of a Carlsberg beer). Pre-sale tickets at $20 (inclusive of a Carlsberg) go on sale from 10th May.

Thank you Julia.

Reading her blog (http://juliainthephilippines.blogspot.com, tnx ciel :) ), i suddenly missed my old life in PI (kelan ko ba ndi namiss :P). Dati, kamatis at kanin, ok na kami. ngayon, kelangan may chicken rice =)Sometimes, we're so trapped with our own struggles, we forget that somewhere, at the same time, there's a different life being lived... mas selfless, mas committed, mas patient, mas may humility, mas faithful. Quote:""""In October 2006, with seven more months to go in her tour of duty, Campbell wrote about missing her family and "my old life." "It's been a rough road and I am hoping to finish, but I would be lying if I did not say that every day is a struggle. Time will hopefully fly quickly."Early this week, with the discovery of Campbell's body in Banaue, time instead froze for everyone whose lives she had touched in two countries."""Thank you Julia.




"I'd really like to say that I am one of those volunteers who just loves the Philippines. I don't. There are things I love, things I hate, but mostly I think that it isn't really possible to totally adjust to life here. It is just too different and it's too much pressure to be different (white) in a culture that is not diverse. It's funny, but next week I will speaking to the new batch of volunteers (Yes, I am a veteran now) about adjustment issues." - Julia's post in Isang Taon Na (One Year Already?) 8May2006


She went missing last 15Apr:

http://newsinfo.inquirer.net/breakingnews/regions/view_article.php?article_id=60379


And found last 19Apr:

http://globalnation.inquirer.net/news/breakingnews/view_article.php?article_id=61234

Here's a nice article from Volt Contreras of inquirer:

http://newsinfo.inquirer.net/inquirerheadlines/nation/view_article.php?article_id=61476

Your Helping Hand

I am so restless
Living without peace
All this confusion
running through my head, yeah it's real

I long for Your helping Hand
Just to hear You breathe
Take this broken cup
Make it all well again.

How do I overcome
The pain's too much it's making me numb
When there's nothing left but remorse
Can't even say what's the cause
Nowhere to go, yeah I'm lost.

I long for Your helping Hand
Just to hear You breathe
Take this broken cup
Make it all well again.

Your will not mine Your will not mine
Be it done Be it done in your time
Your will not mine Your will not mine
Be it done Be it done in your time

Pagsamo

Nalulumbay.
Nalulungkot.
Hirap kalabanin ng mundo.
Hanggang ngayon nagtatanga-tangahan ako.
Gusto ko ng magpaaalam.
Ngunit pinigilan.
Ano bang dahilan?
Di ba't tama naman
ang piniling daan.
Limot ko na ba
pag-ibig sa yo
Bakit kelangan pa ring masaktan
Tuwing nakikita kita
Litong-lito sa nararamdaman
Tinalikuran ko na ang lahat
Pagkatapos malaman
Ang totoo'y ndi tayo pwede
Natanto ko na
kelangang umiwas
bago pa lumala
Wag ng pigilan
Kelangan talikuran ng lahat

Anonymous Quote

My Heavenly Father puts this cup of trial into my hands
that I may have something sweet afterwards.
I will wait and see what good God will do to me by it,
assured He will do it.

Don't doubt. Just believe.

And when I look at you...

All I hope and pray for
as I gaze at you across the room
is to catch your lovely eyes on me
Your smile always reaches them
and it melts my heart away.

Hilo

I.
matagal na kitang nahuhuli
panakaw kung tumingin
ndi naman kita mapilit
lam kong mahirap manilip

Refrain I:
lam kong ndi ka sigurado
kung sya ba o ako
sana lang manalo ko
kahit mas malalim na kayo

Chorus:
(kaya) sana'y pumili ka na
ndi naman kelangang maging tama
maiging pag-timbang lang naman
kung kanino ka magiging tapat

II.
sana nga tayong dalawa
yung tunay walang pantasya
mas gugustuhin ko pang tayo'y magtagal
kesa ang ending kayo palang dalawa

Refrain II:
ang problema'y nasa akin
kelangan ko na ata bumitiw
bigyang halaga muna ang sarili
yoko ng masaktan pang muli

Repeat chorus

coda:
at kung sakali sya'y iyong gusto
siguraduhin mong ndi ka na lilingon
(sa direksyon na) kung san ako naroroon
dahil tiyak makikita mo
tingin ko'y nakapako sa yo.
adlib refrain chords

chorus
Huling huli ko ikaw ngunit di makasigaw oohohoh...

Hinto

stop it
wanna make you wanna stop
there's nothing really
there's nothing left so just
stop

i got to let go
before you become a fascination
i'm putting too much
into something i'm not so sure of

so you gotta
stop
stop it
wanna make you wanna stop
there's nothing really
nothing really there but..

wishful thinking
you got me doing that again
i've learned my lesson before
so i'm not gonna do it again

and i just gotta
stop
stop it
wanna make you wanna stop
there's nothing really
nothing really there but...

your brown eyes
the way you make me smile
falling harder every day
missing you when you're not there

gotta
stop
stop it
wanna make you wanna stop
there's nothing really
nothing really there but

falling harder every day
missing you when you're not there

hindi pa tapos

nakakapagod ang ikot ng mundo

minsan kay sarap na lang

humiga sa buhangin

maghikab buong araw

maligo sa gabi

ang hirap sabayan ang toyo ng tao

kahit anong halo ndi ka makakuha ng tono

umadlib ka na lang pagdating sa koro

wala namang magagawa

kaw lang ang kawawa

Babaing Mahiwaga

Hindi mo maisip
Kung bakit nangyari
Bigla lang nawari
Meron nang nangyari

Ndi sya katulad ng iba
Pero dati nama'y ndi mo puna
Babaing mahiwaga

Kelangan makahanap ng paraan
Ang iyong gusto, sabihin mo na
habang ika'y nanunukat
sya'y iyong tinutulak

wala namang mawawala
Bakit nga hindi mo maamin
Na gusto mo nga syang kilalanin

Dahil ba ndi ka sigurado
Na sya'y di tatanggi sa yo

walang sigurado
walang panalo
kung ndi ka magsisimulang kumilos

adlib:
ayoko ng torpe ayoko ng torpe ayoko ng torpe

Walking on Water, Walking by Faith

Peter said to him in reply, "Lord, if it is you,
command me to come to you on the water."
He said, "Come." Peter got out of
the boat and began to walk on the water toward Jesus.
But when he saw how
(strong) the wind was he became frightened; and, beginning to sink, he cried
out, "Lord, save me!"
Immediately Jesus stretched out his hand and caught
him, and said to him, "O you of little faith, why did you doubt?"

Matthew 14: 28 - 31

What does it mean when He says walk by Faith? I thought before it was to held on to God until there's no more obstacles in the way.

But now, he showed me another perspective. That to walk by faith means to take the step inspite of the obstacles. To walk on and not wait for the obstacles to be removed.

A strange thing happened to me one night, first week of feb, during my prayer time. God has promised me a date in Feb 14. What's the obstacle? I don't have anyone.

I thought, "This would be possible God, if I know somebody who wants to date me."

I thought, "I'll believe only if there's one I know who'll show interest."

I thought, "I'll believe, but even if it's not true, I won't set myself up to disappointment."

But God said, "Believe... even if there's no one in sight."

Wow.

And then all the doubts and uncertainties came to mind.

Was it hilarious?

Was it borderline fantastical? (Is that even a word?)

The Lord answered again. This time during our household sharing.

Uncertainty is one of your biggest enemy in walking by faith.

The reality of all realities is that we welcome uncertainty, believing that we're setting up ourselves to failure, then disappointment.

"But Lord", I prayed, "I just don't want false hope, and then be angry that you did not give me Your Promise even if I chose to believe it?"

And then the Lord revealed His true intention.

Isn't it more rewarding to believe in God, then it doesn't happen, yet we have showed Him that we believed him out of love?

It's like when daddy promised to bring you a toy when he comes back from work, and you believed he'll show up with that toy, but at the end of the day, he came back with nothing because he just lost his job.

Still you look up to him and say, "It's alright daddy... I know you did your best." Then you kiss him lightly on his cheek, because you love the guy the best, out of all the toys you can get.

That's enough, right?

That's what God has been asking me. And yes Lord, inspite of the unaswered prayers, I walk by faith, because I love you Father and I know someday you'll get the job right.

So I'll be walking by faith as He asks me. Head on.

I'll be preparing my dress.

And we'll have this theme song -> StickWithU by PussyCat Dolls.

I'll be taking God by His Word, and I know I'll be able to walk on water.

Thank you Holy Spirit.

walking on eggshells

1. Anong ibig sabihin ng plastik?
eto yung pakitang tao na kunwari ayos ka na pero pabalat bunga lang pala sa ibang tao. lumalabas ang totoo minsan pag kayong dalawa na lang o kaya pag mag-isa ka na lang at saka mo gustong sapakin yung tao. pero pag kaharap mo ang ibang tao at sya nagagawa mo pang batiin ang tao.

2. Anong ibig sabihin ng betrayal?
eto yung ginagawa mo pag me sama ka ng loob sa isang tao tapos imbis na sabihin mo sa kanya, sasabihin mo sa ibang kaibigan nya. slander bah.

take note, may kaibahan ang paggawa nito sa kaibigan at sa totoo mong kaaway. sa totoo mong kaaway ang tawag dun ay retribution. wala ka namang sinisira kasing trust, kaaway mo talaga yun. anong mas mabigat? syempre betrayal.

3. Anong ibig sabihin ng remorse?
eto yung nararamdaman ng isang tao pagkatapos magalit sa isang tao. pag nawala ang galit, pride na lang ang natitira. pag ang tao mataas ang pride, iniisip na sila na lang ang huling tao sa mundo at binabalewala ang lahat. resulta, sayang na panahon, sayang na samahan. kadalasan ang taong remorseful ay ndi malayong resentful din.

kung may kakilala kang me mga katangian ganito, kahit isa lang, layuan mo na. lalo yung mahilig sa no. 2, ndi mo lam kung kelan ka me tama o mali. at most likely, kahit kaibigan ang turing mo sa taong ito, malamang sa hindi, sa kanya hindi ka ganun.

kaya nga walking on eggshells.

Fw: Psalm 142:1-7 - David's Prayer

A maskil of David, when he was in the cave. A
prayer.
With full voice I cry to the LORD; with full
voice I beseech the LORD. Before God I pour out my complaint, lay bare my
distress. My spirit is faint within me, but you know my path. Along the
way I walk they have hidden a trap for me. I look to my right hand, but no
friend is there. There is no escape for me; no one cares for me. I cry out
to you, LORD, I say, You are my refuge, my portion in the land of the
living. Listen to my cry for help, for I am brought very low. Rescue me
from my pursuers, for they are too strong for me.

Psalm 142:1-7
I do not like caves. When I visited Mammoth Cave in Kentucky, I could hardly wait to get out. Thus, I somewhat understand David's distress as he wrote this psalm while hiding from Saul in a cave. In his distress, he looked in four directions.
First, David looked within. "I cry out to the Lord with my voice; with my voice to the Lord I make my supplication. I pour out my complaint before Him; I declare before Him my trouble. When my spirit was overwhelmed within me, then you knew my path" (vv. 1-3). He looked within and said, "Look, I'm in trouble; I'm complaining; I'm overwhelmed." Introspection sometimes can be good for you, but don't spend too much time looking within, or you will get discouraged.
Then David looked around, hoping to find help. "Look on my right hand and see, for there is no one who acknowledges me; refuge has failed me; no one cares for my soul" (v. 4). Do you ever feel like that? Do you look around and say, "Nobody even cares--everyone is bearing his own burdens, and nobody wants to share mine"? Perhaps in those situations you should take time to bear other people's burdens--then they might be interested in your concerns.
After looking within and around and finding only discouragement, David looked up. "I cried out to You, O Lord: I said, 'You are my refuge, my portion in the land of the living"' (v. 5). In other words, "God, you're going to hear my cry. You're going to deliver me from my persecutors; they are stronger than I am."
Finally, David looked ahead. "Bring my soul out of prison, that I may praise Your name; the righteous shall surround me, for You shall deal bountifully with me" (v. 7). After you have seen the glory and the blessing of the Lord, you can look ahead with confidence.
* * *
Perhaps you are in a cave of discouragement today. Your hope lies not within yourself or with your circumstances. Look to the Lord and obey His Word. Then look ahead with confidence, for God's promises are sure and His Word is true.

Speak the truth.. Fear God rather than men

Therefore do not be afraid of them. Nothing is
concealed that will not be revealed, nor secret that will not be known. What I
say to you in the darkness, speak in the light; what you hear whispered,
proclaim on the housetops. And do not be afraid of those who kill the body but
cannot kill the soul; rather, be afraid of the one who can destroy both soul and
body in Gehenna. Are not two sparrows sold for a small coin? Yet not one of them
falls to the ground without your Father's knowledge. Even all the hairs of your
head are counted.So do not be afraid; you are worth more than many
sparrows.

Matthew 10:26-31

From CCF fellowship:
We shouldn't be afraid of going against people when we know we
are on the side of what's true and right, for men can kill the body, but God can
destroy both body and soul.God can avenge for us against our enemies (Hebrews
10:40-31), for we are precious and valuable in His eyes. People couldn't care
less for they are selfish, but God cares.

We go through life learning that sometimes, we have to resort to doing wrong things to be able to gain the confidence of other people.

Example of this is when a person tells you something slanderous about another person. Because we're lost on the thrill of knowing something juicy about another person and at the same time not hurting our friend's feeling, we tend to encourage such behaviour by contributing more anecdotes to sort of "support" the friend.

Deep inside, you know that this friend has told you these slanders because he is afraid to confront the person he's talking about. Or that, he knows in his heart that he has no grounds over what he feels and is afraid to be confronted back by the other person.

Be a good friend instead, and be on the side of what's true and right. Encourage him to talk to the person instead of talking to you. If he says he just doesn't want a confrontation, then it's because he's still consumed with hurt and anger. Advice him then to let it go, since he's only hurting his self. Those angry thoughts he keep remains in his mind until he lets go. So that whatever the other person is doing, he's taking it against himself.

Flee from temptation to gossip and slander so as not to fall into sin. Guard your tongue and stop before you hurt somebody. What if this other person is also your friend or who treats you as a friend? In the middle of your conversation, try to place yourself in this person's place, and maybe then you'll feel how it is to be betrayed.

How many times have I find out about other people who masked their selves as being "friends" only to hearing them later telling slanderous things behind my back. These people treat confrontation as sort of last resort, because they intend to hurt the other person more instead of clearing the air and resolving the conflict.

Yet sometimes, they're just not your friends, they just keep the relationship going because they get something from it, like companionship, connection etc.

What you can say in the dark, but can't say in the light, is not of the truth but just an ugly and evil thought.

If you are in a relationship where most of the time, you are forced to walk on eggshells and do wrong things instead of being true and right, then slowly let go of that relationship. Cut it off rather than fall into temptation.

If you can't, then lower your expectations and keep in mind that your friend is destroying the trust and respect this other person has given him. If your friend can do this to other people, most likely he's doing the same thing to you behind your back.

Don't be afraid to speak the truth, knowing that you can lose your friend because of this. As Dr. Seuss has said, "Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind."

God will give you people who will be able to stay true and who knows how to let go. These are the people who remember the good times and who can accept you for who you really are. Believe me, they exist.

Everyone has faults but God will teach you to accept each other.

You'll know your friend is such a person if after you spoke the truth, he'll be able to accept it, swallow his pride and realize you're giving him a chance to repair his self and his relationship.
Again, no one is perfect. Your friend might not like it and will go on to the next person who can lend an ear on his slanders. But you have done what's right, you have said what's true. And for now, it's your turn to let go and let God.