Regalo Ni Lord

Malapit ng mag-ending ang kabanata.
Kaunting panahon na lang, panibago na naman.
Mabuti na lang at kahit papaano may nagbago
May mga pangyayaring nagbigay buhay sa panahon.
Magandang ending sa patapos na tagpo.

Malungkot at Masaya
Pag dumating na ang takda
na dapat ng magpaalam.
Ngunit kahit sa maikling oras
Ako pa ri'y nagpapasalamat.
Dahil sa mga pag-uunlak, sa pagtanggap ng pakikipagkaibigan.
Tunay ngang marami kong natutunan.
Tunay ngang maraming nagpaligaya.

Kaya't sa kaunting nalalabi,
Lulubusin ko na.
Sa lahat na bukas ang loob na ako'y tanggapin
Pupunuuin ang natitirang oras pang ibinigay sa kin.
Babaunin lahat ng iyong panaginip
kwento ng buhay at mga hagikhik
Hanggang sa paunlakan na nga ng Maykatha
Na baguhin ang storya kong hinihibi.

At sa darating na panahon
Na ako'y mamaalam ng totoo
Lahat ng baon mula sa yo kaibigan
Aking bibigyang halagang lubos.
Ndi man tayo magkita ng muli, mabuti't naisip na sadyang maikli
kaya't ang panahong ating ginugol
Tunay kong matatamisin.

Hindi mo pa alam, baka nga mauna ka pa
Magbago rin ng storya dahil sa mga plano sa buhay.
Basta para sa kin, lagi ko tong iisipin
Para bawat saglit, may halaga para sa kin.

Di bale ng walang picture
Di bale ng walang video
Basta't tatatasan ko na lang ang mapurol kong isipan
O dadaanin na lang sa essence of chicken ang lahat.

Yan ang regalo ni Lord.
Bago payagang ako'y lumayag paibayo.
Thank you po.
Malapit na.

FW: Caller ID

On a Saturday night several weeks ago, this pastor was working late, and decided to call his wife before he left for home. It was about 10:00 PM, but his wife didn't answer the phone.
The pastor let the phone ring many times. He thought it was odd that she didn't answer, but decided to wrap up a few things and try again in a few minutes. When he tried again she answered right away. He asked her why she hadn't answered before, and she said that it hadn't rung at their house. They brushed it off as a fluke and went on their merry ways.
The following Monday, the pastor received a call at the church office, which was the phone that he'd used that Saturday night. The man that he spoke with wanted to know why he'd called on Saturday night.
The pastor couldn't figure out what the man was talking about. Then the man said, "It rang and rang, but I didn't answer." The pastor remembered the mishap and apologized for disturbing him, explaining that he'd intended to call his wife.
The man said, "That's, OK. Let me tell you my story.
You see, I was planning to commit suicide on Saturday night, but before I did, I prayed, 'God if you're there, and you don't want me to do this, give me a sign now.' At that point my phone started to ring. I looked at the caller ID, and it said, 'Almighty God'. I was afraid to answer!"
The reason why it showed on the man's caller ID that the call came from "Almighty God" is because the church that the pastor attends is called Almighty God Tabernacle!!

Father's Day

The story of the prodigal son touches my heart because it's about the patience of a father to wait for his son. He showed unconditional love when the son returned to him.

They say that with parents, giving unconditional love is natural for them. But children like us, will always expect too much from them. It's never enough.

I grew up handling the joy and pain of being a kid of an impatient guy. He's very quick to temper and a disciplinarian. Sometimes, I try to explain his actions to my friends, who have witnessed how he can be unreasonable at times. But through it all I was lucky that God gave me the chance to know my father's wonderful side at a young age that even to this day that he gets crappy (^_^), I can still love him unconditionally.

From time to time, I would remember the night when I went to visit the house of my aunt. I think I was around five years old back then. I've been wanting to go home but my grandmother, who took me to my aunt's house, didn't want to go back to our home. I know my father will be looking for me so I waited for him to come. But the night came and he still didn't show up. I didn't have a choice but to stay.

Then, at the break of dawn, I woke up and saw, from the window, a glimpse of a man coming from the street. I knew it was my father but I wasn't sure. He knocked for a long time, and I just stared at the window. I wanted my aunt to open the door, but being a shy girl, I couldn't bring my self to wake her up. In the end, my dad decided to go home. But not without trying long enough to wake someone up. Only, it was just me who woke up and not anyone else. I watched as he turned his back, walk away, turned again and watch the house, then went home.

Up until this day, my eyes well up whenever I remember it. I know, once my father is forever gone, I will, forever, hold on to this memory. As I grew up, I saw his imperfections. I saw the good and bad things. And, like any other human being, I sometimes fail to love him. But whenever I feel this way, my mind (and heart) brings me back to that memory of my childhood, when my father showed me love unconditionally, with that simple look as he was trying to decide whether to leave me there or continue to knock at the door. By going to my aunt's house after work, in the wee hours of the morning, he was hoping that he can gather his family to sleep in one roof that day as he watch over us.

Even up until today, my father will not sleep until he knows everyone who plans to go home will be in the house.

My bro doesn't know this. But I silently watch sometimes, while he waits for him. Father-Son relationship is always a different thing. I wish I could explain to bro that inspite of their differences, my father loves him. But sometimes you have to let life take it's course when everything else you try to do fails.

Back to my story, I still haven't mentioned it to my father. Because everytime I try, I feel the lump in my throat growing. I hope one day I get the chance.

Happy Father's Day!

Fw: Trusting to Listen

I love this sermon. It summarizes what I want to achieve in my Faith right now. She puts everything point by point. But she really nailed it when she quoted Max Lucado,

Max Lucado says "To know God's will we must totally surrender to God's will. Our tendency is to make God's decision for him. Don't go to God with options and expect him to choose one of your preferences. Go to him with empty hands - no hidden agendas, no crossed fingers, nothing behind your back. Go to him with a willingness to do whatever he says. If you surrender your will, then he will 'equip you with everything good for doing his will.'

Visit christchurchsummit.org for more revealing sermons.

GB!

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Trusting to Listen
By Joy Mounts --> http://www.christchurchsummit.org/Sermons-2003/031109-TrustingToListen.html

November 9, 2003

Hebrews 11: 1

Let the words of my mouth and the mediations of each heart here be acceptable in your sight, oh, God.

Listening for God in our lives is something that we have hard time doing. God may be presenting us with answers to prayer and we dismiss it because we are expecting something else. We forget that God is unexpected, mysterious, eternal, and intimate. We forget that God may be standing right in front of us and we do not see God because we are looking up or down or sideways. We do not always trust ourselves or God enough to listen.

For example, a man heard that his neighborhood was flooding due to a heavy rain storm. He got down on his knees and prayed to God: "Dear God, save me from the coming flood!" The waters began to rise and a truck came by and the driver said, "Get in and I'll drive you to higher ground." The man said no, God would save him. The waters continued to rise. A woman in a boat rowed by. She called, "Jump into the boat and I will row you to safety." The man said no, God would save him. The floodwaters continued to rise. The man was perched on the roof of his house. A helicopter flew by and let down a rope for the man to grab onto. "I will fly you to safety," yelled the pilot. "No." the man said, "I am waiting for God to save me." The man drowned. He got to the heaven hopping mad. "What are you doing here?" God asked. The man said, "God! I am mad at you! I asked you to save me from the flood and you did not!" God smiled and said, "I sent you a truck, a boat and helicopter? How much more saving did you need?"

Trust is like that. We want to trust God. We want to agree with the Psalmist to "Trust God all the time."We want to say with Isaiah "I will trust God at all times and not be afraid."But we want God to appear and tell us to trust God. It is like parachuting, in theory it sound fine, but to get the parachute to do what it is designed for, we have to jump out of the plane first! Our lives are hard to figure out! So, we make bargains. "God if such and such happens then I will know it is really You talking or showing me the way and then I will trust You and do what it is you would have me do. But if I don't see this or hear that, then I will think it is only what I had for dinner last night and not listen." I will not trust what my heart is telling me. I will not trust what my soul is telling me. I will fail to trust God and lose the opportunities that God is showing me. What I really want God, in order to trust you is a memo of some kind. An e-mail would be nice or a few lines floating down from on high to help me out. But God does not send e-mails!

Frederick Buechner tells of a time when he was terribly depressed. He parked by the roadside to pray, a car appeared and passed him. The license plate said TRUST. He says, "What do you call a moment like that? Something to laugh off like the kind of joke life plays on us every once in a while? The Word of God? I am willing to believe it is something of both but for me it was an epiphany."The owner of the car turned out to work for a bank as a trust officer. After he read an account of the story he sent Buechner his own license plate. It sits on his shelf, and as he says "it is a little rusty around the edges but as holy a relic as I have seen."Trust alone is not always easy. We all want that sign. We all want our own license plate. After all to trust God is to throw caution to the wind. To leave ourselves open, to be vulnerable.

Trust can be defined as a confident expectation. Isn't the point that as believers we have a confident expectation that God is inter-tangled in our lives? That God is watching out for us, with us? We can look to a loving God who wants only the best for us, even when we sometimes do not understand what the best is? Even if it is painful? Trusting God is not always taking the road we think we should. Sometimes, trusting God means doing what is unknown and all the risks that entails. Abraham and Sarah stared in astonishment when told they would be the parents of a great nation. They knew they were too old. Sarah laughed at this cosmic joke! But the promise was fulfilled despite their uncertainties because they put their trust in the Messenger. Moses was told to go back to Egypt and lead the people of Israel out of slavery. He was to demand Pharaoh release them! Demand to a Pharaoh? He sputtered and muttered and challenged the burning bush to give him the plan, in full. God simply said "I am who I am! Now go!" Moses listened with doubts of all kinds and finally trusted God would be present with him as promised. Trusting does not mean you do not have doubts. Indeed it may be that doubts are what propel us to trust. The disciples gave up their ordinary lives to follow one who they knew was the Messiah. They were not turned overnight into angels but remained men and women who questioned, bargained and wanted to know - "where are we going? What's in this for me? Can't you let us in on the plan Jesus?" Jesus said: "Follow me and I will make you fish for people."In other words trust me, let's go, we have work to do! They went.

Even Jesus seeing that the stakes had been raised to the point of certain death hesitated. His eleventh hour prayer in the Garden of Gethsemane is a man trying to grapple with all that is before him. How many times have we prayed similar prayers! Yet Jesus also trusted God that would see him through, his reply to his own question. "Not what I want but what you want."After an internal struggle, Jesus trusted God, who, he knew, would not abandon him. A God whose plan to be completed required a great deal of trust on Jesus side. Jesus could have said "you know God; I am not too sure about this, look where it has gotten me. I mean, I am doing the work you asked me to do, but the stakes have suddenly gotten higher than I bargained for. I know you said you would stick with me, no matter what, but I think all this is leading to my death, in fact, I am sure of it. Death! So if it is all the same to you, I think the boys and I will head back to Nazareth where I have a nice little carpentry business and we'll call it a day?" Of course, Jesus did not say that. Jesus, with the sweat and blood on his brow, listened, trusted that despite the way it looked, this was his part in the plan. Jesus surrendered his will to God's. He gave his life to fulfill God's love for us.

In order to truly trust God, we must be open to what God lays in front of us. We must accept that we do not have all the answers. We must accept that maybe God knows a thing or two more than us. This is hard. After all our culture tells us that we have all the tools we need to make all the decisions we can ever need. Can't I yahoo or google God and come up with the same answers? Unfortunately not.

Max Lucado says "To know God's will we must totally surrender to God's will. Our tendency is to make God's decision for him. Don't go to God with options and expect him to choose one of your preferences. Go to him with empty hands - no hidden agendas, no crossed fingers, nothing behind your back. Go to him with a willingness to do whatever he says. If you surrender your will, then he will 'equip you with everything good for doing his will.'"This is not what our intuitions tell us to do. Surrender does not come easily. I have lived this and so have you. We all have our Gethsemane moments.

For years I had felt God calling me to another life. But I was busy with a career I loved. Then through the workings of the corporate world, I found myself in a position to fulfill this dream. I came to Drew. Yet I was tentative, shying away from the reason my heart was telling me I was there. I was a teacher not a minister! But....in the back of my mind, a voice I was shaking away kept calling me. "Why aren't you fully listening?" I replied "I am here aren't I?" "Yes," the voice replied "you are but are you there for the reason I want you to be?" "Leave me alone," I said, "I have papers to write and tests to study for - do you have any idea how long it has been since I took a test?" "I think I might have a general idea," the voice replied. "What are you afraid of my child?" "Me afraid?" I said quaking. "I am starting a whole new chapter of my life. Of course I am scared. But I am not scared of being a minister; it's just that I think I am supposed to be a professor!" "Trust me," the voice said; "the plans you have made are not what I want you to be." And so it went for a whole year. I refused to lean into the trust of God and throw caution to the wind and accept that I really should be a minister. My friends and family and advisors, patiently listening to me arguing with God and let me argue.

Until finally, I broke. I felt the storm welling up inside of me and I knew that the voice had been right all along. I had not wanted to trust God and come to Drew as a minister. Frankly it scared me. Where would God lead me? Where would I go? I like to know these things. I like to kid myself into thinking I am in charge. However, in order to fulfill what God has for me - I have to trust God. So one day at 3:00 o'clock in the morning, I called out: "God, you win!" And God said, "No you do." I changed my degree program this summer and with Augustine I can say "My heart was restless until it was at rest in thee."

Isn't that one of the biggest elements of trust - listening to God? Trust is listening. Listening for God in your life. Listening as God speaks however softly or loudly that may be. And not just hearing that God is speaking but really listening. It may be surprising whose mouth the words of God come from and in what experience. Frederick Buechner wrote "The question is not whether the things that happen to you are chance things or God things because of course they are both at once. There is no chance thing, which God cannot speak through. He speaks, I believe, and the words he speaks are incarnate in the flesh and blood of our selves and our own footsore and sacred journeys. We cannot live our lives constantly looking back; listening back, lest we be turned into pillars of longing and regret but to live without listening at all is to live deaf to the fullness of the music. "

In order to be open we have to get out of own way to hear what God is saying in the small crossroads in our lives as well as the big junctures. This is not easy. We need to step outside of ourselves to be open to the possibilities. We need to step outside of the obstacles we set before ourselves and trust. Listening is part of the creative process of living. Madeleine L'Engle wrote "When the work takes over, then the artist is enabled to get out of the way, not to interfere. When the work takes over, then the artist listens. Before he can listen, paradoxically he must work. Getting out of the way and listening is not something that comes easily, either in art or in prayer."We want to be the ones making all the decisions. We forget somehow that trusting God is all about letting go.

"Let Go and Let God."How easy to say that to others, how hard to hear it ourselves. In trusting God we need to learn to trust ourselves to trust God. To really let go is to open the door for God to be there with us, around us. We are stubborn. And this stubbornness becomes a wall of not trusting. The wall become thick as our refusal to trust solidifies. Not trusting can turn into fear. And fear makes us smaller. Fear robs us of the joy of living life to its fullest. Trust restores. Trust lifts us up. "I will trust and will not be afraid for the Lord God is my strength and my song"Isaiah shouted. "I can do all things through God who gives me strength"Philippians 4 verse 13 is what got me through cancer six years ago. But I can only do all things through God if I trust that God will get me through all things. If I rely only on my own strength I will falter and be weary. As Julian of Norwich proclaimed Jesus "wants us to trust that he is constantly with us, in heaven.., in earth..., .....And in our soul."If I do not then I will never make it off the shore into the waters of life. How often have I said okay God, watch me I am diving in where you leading me only to realize that my while my hands are in the water, my feet are firmly planted back on the shore of my will. How much of life will pass me by if I do so? How much of life am I willing to let pass me by?

There is a sign that my sister Julie gave me that used to hang in my office and now hangs in my apartment. She gave it to me after a particularly hard time in my life. It says "Joy, Trust Me. I have everything under control. Jesus." I put it where I pass it every day. It is my reminder to be open and listen and not get in my own way. To listen for that still small voice and trust God's will for my life. I am still learning not to fight but to trust. I think that in this I am part of a large crowd! We all have trouble really trusting. Really letting go and jumping into the ever-lasting arms! We are all still learning to lean into God's love and trust what God has planned. But we are also learning how much God loves each one of us. It is this love that let's us shout with Isaiah that God has given us strength and we will sing God's praises for the wondrous things God has done! It is this love that God has for us that helps us to slowly learn to lean into God's trust, love, and hope for us all. Learning to totally trust God and be vulnerable may be a lifetime of learning for each and every one of us. But it is as we strive to do so that we may be able to say with conviction - let go and let God. Amen.

i hear you...

 but i just can see more to it than just what you say....

"It's not only about happiness being on your own. Or being in a relationship. It's a lot to do with knowing that our decisions affect other people. If you choose to be in a relationship, you necessarily have to be responsible for that person. Anyone who thinks otherwise should not be in that space to begin with. "

-- from a friend.

if you could just find that point where you realize you have a lot to give... and not be afraid of failing or getting hurt or being disappointed..

 

that inspite of imperfections, life with someone can still make you happy.

 

if you could.

 

then maybe.

 

just maybe.

 

but then maybe not.

i got the answers, now to face the day.

It was my will to fall.

 

It was His will to wait.

 

'Til I'm ready to face the answer.

 

'Til I'm ready to be saved.

 

The silence was killing me.

 

But now the answer is here.

 

Next thing to face is how to overcome.

 

Am I ready to be picked up and carried away?

 

My Lord awaits.

 

To prove my love I need to show him I can be stronger.

 

To prove my worth, to receive such a straight answer, is God's grace. In turn, I want to show him I can face the next wave.

 

You've made me stronger by breaking my heart
You ended my life and made a better one start
You've taught me everything from fallin' in love
To letting go of a lie.

 

ang corny.

 

nyek. (^_^)

 

FW: Peace With Ourselves by Mary Wilder Tileston - Joy and Strength Reflection

Joy and Strength Reflection yesterday from devotions.org

DO, I entreat you,

drive away all these anxious thoughts which hinder your soul,

and try to serve God cheerfully.

Be resolute in overcoming self,

and in hearing with your mental troubles whatever they be, leaving all to God,

and doing whatever you know to be His will,

quickly and heartily;

be gentle, patient, humble, and courteous to all,

but especially be gentle and patient with yourself.

Bakit magulo ang utak??? kassiii....

".... I think that many of your troubles arise from an exaggerated anxiety, a secret impatience with your own faults;
and this restlessness, when once it has got possession of your mind, is the cause of numberless trifling faults,
which worry you, and go on adding to your burden until it becomes unbearable...."

Pero, wag syadong parusahan ang sarili....

"... I would have you honest in checking and correcting yourself,
but at the same time patient under the consciousness of your frailty...."

Remember that Jesus our Lord loves to dwell within a quiet heart,
and to come to those who are at peace with themselves;
restlessness and anxiety hinder our seeing Him,
even when He is beside us and speaking to us.

PURE HYACINTHE BESSON

"Now the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, that ye may abound in hope, through the power of the Holy Ghost. " -- ROMANS 15:13

Took my love, I took it down. Will the landslide bring you down?

Regressing mode.

Listening to some ol' songs. 90s to be exact. Ganito pala ang tumatanda. Hindi mo na alam kung ano ang definition ng "old". Sa generation ko kasi, pag sinabi mong old, 50s or 60s. Lately ko na lang narealize na sa panahon ngayon, kasama na sa old ang 80s and 90s.

Back to my playlist. I used to listen to this when I was in college. Some I listen to when I was starting my first job. Uist, sabay palang nagtratrabaho at nag-aaral nung college. Pero hanggang dyan na lang. Too much info na.

Medyo napahinto ko sa ginagawa ko ng biglang nagsalita si Kurt Cobain sa earphone. This was during the MTV Unplugged. Wow. Living the dead. Tinatanong nya kung sya na lang ba ang tutugtog nung kanta. Sabi ng bandmates sige ikaw na. Sabi nya o sige, pero gamitin ko na lang yung normal chords. Kung hindi magwork, eh maghintay na lang muna tong mga nakikinig.

Haay. I miss you Kurt. Sana hinintay mo na lang muna na mapanood kita bago ka nawala sa mundo. Masyadong naging mabilis matupad ang mga pangarap mo. Masyado ka rin nagmadali at nawalan ng gagawin sa mundo. Kung sana lang naging mas malawak ang perspective mo sa buhay, kung hindi ka na lang nakulong sa mundo, mas makikita mong marami pang posibleng pagkaabalahan dito.

Tamo si Rico. Nagsawa. Hayan, mukhang magiging pulitiko na lang.

Mas naging melodrama ang mood ng marinig ko na si Billy Corgan. Wow. Smashing Pumpkin. I remember hackling my friend for my monito gift. I literally drag him to the CD shop just to buy me Adore.

To think na mas nauna pa si Corgan magcontemplate ng suicide, noong sumikat ang Nirvana at naisip nya na palubog na sila.

And the greatest irony was Corgan was able to reverse his mindframe, practically living a period of his life in the studio to come up with another great album(Siamese Dream) while Cobain fed his melancholy by overdosing.

Oh Well.

Eto na lang. Magdidisect na lang ako ng kanta, Landslide ng Smashing Pumpkin. Mukhang eto ang nagiging theme song ng buhay ko lately.

Bababawan ko lang. Wag syadong seryoso.

Took my love, I took it down
Narealize na nainlove. Ng malaman, ginawa ang lahat para mamamatay ang love.

Climbed a mountain and I turned around
Parang isang malaking pagsubok na kelangang lampasan.

And I saw my reflection in the snow covered hills, 'til a landslide brought me down
Ayos na sana, wagi na sa lahat. Biglang may isang malaking pangyayaring binalik ako sa naramdaman.

Yaaiks. Jologs ata. Eh jologs kwentuhan naman to. So ok lang. Nakikibasa lang naman kayo. (^_^)

Oh, mirror in the sky, what is love?
Ano ba kasi tong nararamdaman?

Can the child within by heart rise above?
Kayanin ko ba, ganitong kulang pa sa karanasan?

Can I sail through the changing ocean tides?
Kaya ko bang sumuong sa kabilang direksyon ng unos?

Can I handle the seasons of my life?
Kaya ko pa bang salubungin ang iba pang darating sa buhay ko?

Well I've been afraid of changing, 'cause I've built my life around you
Ayoko na sanang harapin ang mga pagbabago sa buhay ko. Masyado kong nasanay na mabuhay ng may pag-ibig sa isip ko.

But time makes you bolder, even children get older, I'm gettin' older, too
Pero ngayong sinasalubong na rin ako ng taon sa buhay ko, mas kaya ko na kayang harapin ang pagtanda ko?
Tumatanda na rin ang mga bata. Tumatanda na rin ako.

Took my love, I took it down
Climbed a mountain and I turned around
And if you see my reflection in the snow covered hills, will the landslide bring you down?

At kung sakaling malaman mo, na pareho tayo ng nararamdaman,
Maging isang malaking paggising din ba sa yo ito?
parang isang landslide na ang impact tulad sa kin.
Kakayanin mo rin ba to?

o-ha.

Your Presence is keeping me still

When it all seems dark, like passing a dark tunnel, and only finding the slightest trace of light at the end of it.

 

When at last you think you've reached that certain place where all seems to be well and good, but then again you find yourself, in front of another dark tunnel,
another road to take.

 

When all seems to loom on you, and there's no way to turn back or run ahead.

 

When all you can think about is to stop, sit down in the middle of the road,
and wait until life pass you by and drag you off your feet.

 

When all you can do is to ask "How far can the light be now?". You want to believe in order to see, yet you're not seeing. And in midst of this darkness, all you want to have is peace.

 

When all you can say "No more, I had enough." There's nothing left in you to fight, and finish this journey.

 

Remember that God was with you in the darkness, and that even if you don't see, He's still with you in this road you're taking. He's working in the day, hardest in the night, winning your battles, inspite of your weariness.

 

You've passed every tunnel, seen every light, because He was carrying you at times when all you want to do was give up the fight.

 

Because in this life, there is no constant victory. Yet we have His constant love, His faithfulness. Inspite of our own brokenness.

 

"Could it be You're with me..
Though I doubt, You patiently wait
Staying by my side, 'til I recognize
Your Presence is keeping me still."