Forwarded by a friend....
No matter how outrageous, inconsiderate, false, self-centered,or pompous the person you're talking to is, remember: He or she is simply trying to survive, just like you. We're all participating in the same physical and psychological struggle. Some of us just have better survival strategies than others.Thus, the obnoxious person deserves more pity than scorn.
"The wounded deer leaps highest," Emily Dickinson wrote, and it's true.
So listening with empathy means asking yourself, "Where is this person's anger coming from?" "What is he or she asking for?" "What can I do that's reasonable and supportive?" You're not everyone's shrink, and you don't have to carry the weightof the world on your back.But, on the other hand, if you can think through what makes this person behave like this, perhaps you'll be inclined tocut them a little slack. Genuinely listening well is, at its heart, an act of love, and as such, may help heal.
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