Rock D Fort - Popagenda

By this time siguro, nasasabi mo ng "puro bamboo naman toh!" habang binabasa ito. So last na talaga, at dahil sa dami rin ng mga pangyayari, ndi na rin ako masyadong makapagkwento. Mas gusto ko na lang ireserve for private memories. :)



Medyo ndi successful ang Rock D Fort this year. Mainly because it's football season. Pero blessing in disguise naman sa mga believers (tawag sa mga loyal fans ng bamboo) kasi nasolo namin sina Bamboo. To top it all, maganda pang weather.



Kahit ndi gaano kapuno, ndi tulad sa Bar None, sobrang enjoy pa rin ang naging gigs nila, sulit bayad sobrang bait pa ng banda! Kahit paulit ulit na yun ang kanta, ndi mo pa rin pagsasawaan. Ndi nagbabago ang energy level. Naappreciate lahat ng manonood ang music nila.


Maganda rin ang feedback sa ibang lahi dito. Nagustuhan nila ang songs and performance level ng grupo. Sana nga lang makacontribute ito for them to buy the album. Kulang pa nga sa marketing ito. Kahit kami na mga pinoy dito (yung mga taga-east), ndi alam kung saan bibili ng album nila. Maganda ang exposure nila sa radio though.







Bukod sa Bamboo band, Popagenda also showcased a lot of local and asian bands. Eto ang official site --> http://www.rockonsingapore.com/.

Para sa vids sa barnone, may mga snippets ka ng makikita sa youtube na inupload din ng mga ibang nakanood.

eto, hinahanap hanap kita:


eto, alelujah & noypi


eto, mr.clay

Deserve nila talaga lahat nung Awit awards. With a great album and not so big-egos, they'll go places!

Bamboo sa Bar None

And then they were here. Siguro sa kanila isa lang to sa gig na dapat puntahan. Bibilib ka talaga sa sobrang sipag nila. At kahit paulit ulit, pare parehong energy level ang binibigay nila sa crowd sa kanilang mga performance.

Napakalistless ng crowd that night. Feisty daw sabi ng DJ. We really didn't care. We just wanted to see Bamboo, Ira, Nathan and Vic.

Nakita nyo ba yung pic? Ang lapit ko na nyan huh. Kaya lang everytime eye to eye kami ni Bamboo, talagang binababa ko yung camera at sinusulit ang ala private performance nila with me. Kasi naman, napakaswerte ko sa puesto. Sa lahat, ako lang ang elevated kaya walang magagawa ang group, pag napatingin sila sa kanan nila, ako agad ang makikita.


They sang songs from both of their albums. Mas maraming pinoy songs. They also gave us Hinahanap hanap kita, Ulan and 214. Haaay, college... those were the days.


Wala, ndi pa ko bumababa sa cloud 9. Pasalamat na lang ako Pilipino sila. Four to six years from now, they'll be so inaccessibly famous if they keep up with this kind of songs, samahan pa ng matinding kapit sa pangarap, sipag at tyaga and they'll go places na.

Itong pic sa kaliwa, pagpasenyahan na at ndi good shot. Medyo dazed pa ko sa katitig nung mama. Samahan mo pa nga nung ibang members, wala na ko talagang mafocus.

Ganito muna. Namnamin ko muna lahat. Me part 2 pa sa Rock D Fort.

Today's Firsts

Ang daming firsts na nangyari today sa kin. Most notably ay tatlong bagay:
nakita ko si Arnold Clavio.

ooppss... hindi naman ako masyado excited...

nasa likod nya kami... napakalabit sa kin yung kasama kong nakakita sa kanya. Kilala nya si A.C. by face only, kaya nasabi na lang nya sa kin na, "uuuyy newscaster yun ng channel 7 sa atin". Ndi ko sya nakita agad until a woman caught my eye na kinakausap nya. Nung napalingon sya sa likod saka ko lang sya nakilala.

at syempre napatigil ako sa paglakad... at tanging nasabi ko na lang ay "grabeh! nastarstruck ako!". 😛 Naglalakad na si Arnold nun ng bigla syang napalingon uli dahil sa narinig sa kin. Nangiti na lang ako sa kanya. Mukha ring nagmamadali na sila kaya hindi na kami nangistorbo. Mukha namang friendly sya though, na kahit gusto pa rin nyang huminto medyo hatak na sya ng kanyang kasama.


Sunod... punta kaming Bar None para kumuha ng tickets for the Bamboo gig.
6pm kami nakarating kaya sarado pa.
First time ko sa Marriot and Bar None. Usually nasa lobby lang kami or sa labas, sa may Tang's Mall. The receptionist gave us directions on how to go to the basement where Bar None is. Bumalik na lang kami ng 7pm to buy the tickets. Kita ko ang poster ng Bamboo gig. kilig.





and last.... Pepper Lunch fast steak! Swak na swak sa sarap. Medyo mahaba ang pila kaya nagworry rin kami ng kaunti kung magtatagal bago kami makakain. Iseserve na medyo raw ang steak, sa isang hot plate, so ikaw ang kelangan maghalo ng steak, veggies and sauce.Nasa yo kung gusto mo ay raw or well done.

Blogging from Jurong Library

Customer Appreciation month ngayon sa National Library. I'm not sure what's happening on other branches, but in Jurong they're giving away baloons and ID jackets. May children program din kaya there's a lot of children here right now to attend the storytelling hour. Sa mga members, ang book quota ay doble, that means I can now borrow 8 books. Sa mga mabibilis magbasa tulad ko, ayos yun. Ndi mo nga lang maappreciate if you opt to read your books slow because ndi naextend ang borrowing time.

Still ang daming nanghihiram, kaya yung mga bagong releases and hard-to-find books ubos kaagad.

Kadalasan, to borrow something, I just go online, reserve a book and pick it up in Tampines Library. Before though, I made it a point to visit as many library branches as I can because that's the one thing I didn't have the chance to do back home.

Ndi ko nga lang pa napuntahan lahat but among the ones I was able to see, there are three places that I favor going back once in a while: Tampines Library because that's the closest to my work place, Geylang Library because mas wide ang selection of books dun then Orchard Library since ito naman ang pinakamalapit na mapupuntahan ko for manga and american comics. Pero sa lahat, Jurong Library ang pinakafavorite ko, ndi lang bilang isang library but also as one of my favorite places here in Singapore.

It's in my list because I love the ambience. They also have Cafe Galilee here... ang sarap ng kape nila... at ng tuna puff. Maraming pumupunta dito but it's big enough that you can find a corner and then watch the people go about and do their business. Children running around, parents reading the morning paper... and yet it's not as noisy.
Ndi rin basta basta yung corner na pede mong puntahan. May mga tables with sofa chairs... may study table... may corners na solo mo lang... may corners na pede nyong gamitin magbabarkada... may dim light at may seat beside a window pane. Basta library goer ka, you'll be able to appreciate the comfort that this library can offer. The staff are all friendly too but at the same time not to eager to push their business to you so you have the peace and quiet that you want.

The main library, located in Queen Street near Bugis, is the newest one. The old one was demolished to give way to one of the biggest in asia. Oo sabel, mas malaki pa sa PUP library. Ang weird nga, kasi ang basement nun reminds me of the PUP library basement kung san natutulog kami pag lunch break. I haven't seen all the floors, mostly because when I went there karamihan restricted pa. Nice collection of manga and comics though, but maybe irereserve ko na lang yun kesa bumalik uli.

Pero talaga... ang sarap ng kape sa Jurong. langhap sarap. babalik balikan. kahit walang asukal. kahit walang gatas. kahit ndi sprinkled ng choco powder or cinnamon. amoy barako pero ndi kasing tapang.
ay... library nga pala ang pinag-uusapan.

Ocia! Storytelling in english open for all kids from aged 4 to 7 will start in a few minutes. Kelangan ko pang magreserve ng seat.

'til next, sabel.

Thank You by Oprah

Forwarded by a friend... really love Oprah...

Be joyful always; pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances, forthis is God's will for you in Christ Jesus" (1Thes 5:16-18)
===========================================================
THANK YOU By Oprah Winfrey
I live in the space of thankfulness - and I have been rewarded a million times over for it. I started out giving thanks for small things,and the more thankful I became, the more my bounty increased.

That's because what you focus on expands, and when you focus on thegoodness in your life, you create more of it. Opportunities, relationships,even money flowed my way when I learned to be grateful no matter what happened in my life.

"Say thank you!" Those words from my friend and mentor Maya Angelou turned my life around. One day about ten years ago, I was sitting in my bathroom with the door closed and the toilet lid down, booing and ahooing on the phone so uncontrollably that I was incoherent. "Stop it! Stop it right now and say thank you!" Maya chided. "But - you don't understand," I sobbed. To this day, I can't remember what it was that had me so far gone,which only proves the point Maya was trying to make. "I do understand," shetold me. "I want to hear you say it now. Out loud. 'Thank you.'

"Tentatively, I repeated it:
"Thank you - but what am I saying thank you for?"

"You're saying thank you," Maya said, "because your faith is so strong that you don't doubt that whatever the problem, you'll get through it.You're saying thank you because you know that even in the eye of the storm,God has put a rainbow in the clouds. You're saying thank you because you know there's no problem created that can compare to the Creator of all things. Say thank you!"

So I did - and still do. Only now I do it every day.

I kept a gratitude journal, as Sarah Ban Breathnach suggests in SimpleAbundance, listing at least five things that I'm grateful for. My list includes small pleasures: the feel of Kentucky bluegrass under my feet(like damp silk); a walk in the woods with all nine of my dogs and mycocker spaniel Sophie trying to keep up; cooking fried green tomatoes with Stedman and eating them while they're hot; reading a good book and knowing another awaits.

My thank-you list also includes things too important to take for granted: an "okay" mammogram, friends who love me, 15 years at the same job(and loving it more than the first day I started), a chance to share myvision for a better life, staying centered, having financial security. Iwon't kid you, having money for all the things I want is a blessing. But asI look back over my journals, which I've kept since I was 15 years old, 99 per cent of what brought me real joy had nothing to do with money . (It had a lot to do with food,however.)

It's not easy being grateful all the time. But it's when you feel least thankful that you are most in need of what gratitude can give you:PERSPECTIVE. Just knowing you have that daily list to complete allows you to look at your day differently, with an awareness of every sweet gesture and kind thought passed your way. When you learn to say thank you, you see the world anew. And as Meister Eckhart so eloquently stated:

"If the only prayer you ever say in your whole life is a Thank you, that would suffice."

Here's a link to the Thank You episode: http://www.oprah.com/tows/pastshows/tows_past_20011119.jhtml

So Dark the Con of Man Da Movie

Da Vinci?

'Syado ng maraming nasangkutan ang libro na ito since it was published...
from the Baigent/Leigh vs Brown plagiarist case...
to the controversy over the film's soundtrack...
you can't help but wonder if it's all hyped.

ndi siguro naimagine ni Dan Brown na ganito kalaki ang resulting avalanche.
You know what the greatest lie here is? The Con of Man is for you to be convinced that this movie is big. Mas kontrobersyal pa ang Angels and Demons, as it relates more closely to recent times in the church. So what's all this hulabalou all about? Maraming pumatol ng irerelease na ang movie dahil biglang me mga call to ban the movie. Naturally, mas maraming nasangkot sa gulo.

Stripped away all these controversies, you'll get nothing but a common formula theme. Boy meets girl, comes into peril, goes to different places/countries for an adventure and then solves the mystery and saves the day. Me kaunting revelation pa sa ending ng movie. Sounds familiar? Oo sabel... katatapos lang ng MI:III.

Sabi ng self-righteous groups: 
kelangan natin ipagtanggol ang christian faith... 
kelangan wag itolerate ang pagbalahura sa ating simbahan...

Sagot ng iba: may karapatan kaming husgahan kung ano ang dapat naming panoorin at pakinggan.

So pano yan pareho silang tama di ba? Walang panalo... ay meron pala, si Dan Brown at ang distributor ng movie. Free publicity. maning mani ang over $224 million overall grosses.

Try reading Deception Point and Digital Fortress... halfway through these books, you'll see through the hype of Da Vinci. Compared nung libro pa lang ang Da Vinci, mas maganda pa ang resulta ng mga debate. People were inquiring about Christ, about the Christian faith, Opus Dei, the Priory, the knights of the templar. May patutunguhan ang mga pag-uusap. There was an opportunity to learn and increase awareness of the Faith. It wasn't about commercialism. Even the church at that time played it smart and cool, tahimik na pagliliwanag lang ang binibigay nila. Now, it's all about the box office. The millions of dollars Brown gained. 

Just like in Richard Gere's Visa commercial... "but there's only enough for one bird.." 

(side note:
-anak nung guide ni Gere yung magkapatid-girl na bumili ng ibon & boy na aalis
- tito nya yung me ari ng tindahan ng ibon
- at iba pang kamag-anak ang ibang nagtitinda...
- ang mga ibon, babalik sa me-ari pag pinalakpakan...
- it's such a small sleepy village...)

p.s.
Me isa pa kong narinig na nagbato ng opinyon tungkol sa pagtanggap ni T. Hanks sa kanyang role... ganito ang takbo ng usapan nila :
SR1: Ba't ba tinanggap ni Hanks yang role na yan? *kunot noo*
SR2: Ndi ba nya alam na sa ginawa nya diretso na sya sa impyerno nyan? SACRILEGIOUS na rin yun eh... *palo sa mesa*
SR1: Ndi lang, ngayon pa lang pede na syang maparusahan. Ikakabagsak na ng career nya yan. Kakalaos na nyan yan."smirks*

Si SR1 pala nawalan ng trabaho. Sabi nya, me nagsabi sa kanya "magresign ka!". Ano kayang "sacrilegious" ang ginawa nya?

Quote of the day: Always guard against a harsh, fault-finding, and bitter spirit.
Related links:
Matthew 7.5 - u hypocrite... (read here).
Slanderous Judgment or Righteous Judgment (read here)
Cracking Da Vinci (read here)

review on filipino maids

If you find that poverty mentality keeps you from achieving the success you deserve, the reason may be in your own past. Having the frame of mind that sees you with far less than you are capable of attaining can come from being raised in poverty. The deep belief that you cannot achieve more, or don't deserve to is the ingredient that makes a reality of this mindset. -- anon.

Nung unang panahon... early 19th century.. may naging komento si Jean Mallat na nasulat ni Ambeth Ocampo sa inquirer tungkol sa mga chinese foreign workers (http://www.inq7.net/opi/2004/apr/16/text/opi_arocampo-1-p.htm) sa tin non. Noon daw, sila ang pumupunta sa bansa para magtrabaho at may ipadala sa pamilya nila back home.

Fast forward ngayon, nakakita ako ng article sa shanghai tungkol sa pagreview ng skills ng mga filipino maids.

Iba na talaga ang panahon ano. Ngayon tayo na ang may pangarap na bumalik ang panahon nung tulad ng kina Rizal.

Pangarap ko na dumating ang panahon na buhay pa ako at ndi na tayo nirereview sa pagiging maid. Sana magkaron ng kabuluhan ang pagsisikap ng bawat filipina maid sa ibang bansa.. na iangat ang pamilya nila, ndi
lang financially pero pati na rin sa lahat ng aspeto sa buhay. Sana bawat isa sa anak nila lumaking responsable at productive citizen ng bansa... ndi man makagraduate bilang doktor, engineer, nurse etc. maging isang
magaling na businessman na lang na magbibigay ng trabaho sa iba, o kaya maging isang simpleng guro na may pangarap itaas ang antas ng edukasyon.

Sana dumating ang panahon na nirereview naman ang skills ng karamihan sa tin bilang professional o kaya bilang economic assets of the country.

Ito na yung article.

http://www.shanghaidaily.com/art/2006/05/17/278155/Filipino_maids__039__mixed_reviews.htm

Filipino maids' mixed reviews
2006-05-17
FILIPINO
housemaids have not been widely used by local Beijing families
since
agencies started marketing their services in March.
An estimated 1,000 to
2,000 Filipino maids work on the Chinese
mainland, with up to 300 in
Beijing, where four agencies offer their services.
Employers of Filipino
maids in Beijing, however, are mostly from Hong
Kong, Taiwan and overseas,
and include very few native families, local
media have reported.
Wealthy
white-collar professionals with strong English skills are the
main employers
of Filipino maids, said an agency manager quoted by the
Beijing-based Global
Times newspaper as saying.
"Beijing needs at least 200,000 home servants
every year, of whom three
to five percent must be skilled professionals, and
Filipino maids
probably account for one percent," he said.
The
relatively high cost is one reason why Beijingers stick with native
Chinese
maidservants.
Besides the US$350 to US$400 for the monthly salary, employers
must pay
about US$1,060 in fees for training, visas, employment permits,
physical examinations, insurance and annual flights for a Filipino maid.
The average monthly salary of Beijing residents, by contrast, was about
US$340 last year, according to the Beijing Statistical Bureau.
On
arrival, maids and their bosses face obstacles in communication,
lifestyle
and cuisine.
Mr Wu, a businessman from Singapore, fired his Filipino maid
because
she was incapable of cooking Chinese food properly and he worried
about
the influence of her Philippine accent on his children, Beijing Youth
Daily said.
Wu has since hired a Chinese servant for just over US$100 a
month.
Philippine servants, nevertheless, though, have an international
reputation for their high-quality service and cheerful temperaments.
Mr
Chen, who works for a foreign-funded company in Beijing, said his
breakfast
is ready and his home and car cleaned when he gets up every
day.
"She
likes to sing and sometimes dance while working, and that makes me
happy
too," he said.

The Invitation by Oriah

It doesn't interest me what you do for a living.

I want to know what you ache for and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart's
longing.

It doesn't interest me how old you are.

I want to know if you will
risk looking like a foolfor lovefor your dreamfor the adventure of being
alive.

It doesn't interest me what planets are squaring your moon...I want to
know if you have touched the centre of your own sorrow if you have been opened by
life's betrayals or have become shrivelled and closed from fear of further
pain.

I want to know if you can sit with pain

mine or your own

without moving
to hide it

or fade it

or fix it.

I want to know if you can be with joy

mine or
your own

if you can dance with wildness

and let the ecstasy fill you to the tips
of your fingers and toes

without cautioning us to

be careful

be realistic

remember
the limitations of being human.
It doesn't interest me if the story you are
telling me is true.I want to know if you can disappoint another to be true to
yourself.If you can bear the accusation of betrayal

and not betray your own
soul.If you can be faithless

and therefore trustworthy.
I want to know if you
can see Beauty

even when it is not pretty

every day.And if you can source your own
life from its presence.
I want to know if you can live with failure

yours and
mine

and still stand at the edge of the lake

and shout to the silver of the full
moon,"Yes."
It doesn't interest me

to know where you live or how much money
you have.I want to know if you can get up

after the night of grief and
despair

weary and bruised to the bone

and do what needs to be done

to feed the
children.
It doesn't interest me who you know

or how you came to be here.I
want to know if you will standin the centre of the fire

with me

and not shrink
back.
It doesn't interest me where or what or with whom

you have studied.I
want to know what sustains you

from the inside

when all else falls away.
I want
to know if you can be alone with yourself

and if you truly like the company you
keepin the empty moments.

Fw: Good or Bad Hard To Say

heard a good story from a friend today...

Once upon a time, there was a king.
The king liked one of his
followers very much because he was very wise and
always gave
very useful advice. Therefore the king took him along wherever
he went.

One day, the king was bitten by a dog, the finger was
injured and the
wound was getting worse. He asked the follower if that
was a bad sign.
The follower said, 'Good or bad, hard to say'. In the end,
finger of the king
was too bad that had to be cut. The king asked the
follower again if
that was a bad sign. Again, the follower gave the
same answer,
'Good or bad, hard to say'. The king became very angry and
sent the follower to prison.

One day, the king went hunting in
the jungle. He got excited when he was
on the chase of a deer. Deeper and
deeper he went inside the jungle. In the
end he found himself lost in the
jungle. To make things worse, he got
captured by the native people who
lived inside the jungle. They wanted to
sacrifice him to their god. But when
they noticed that the king had one
finger short, they released him
immediately as he was not a perfect man
anymore and not suitable for
sacriface. The king managed to get back to
his palace after all.

And he finally understood the follower's wise quote, 'Good or bad,
hard to say'. If he hadn't lost one finger, he could have been killed by
the native people. He ordered to release the follower, and apologized
to him.
But to the king's amazement, the follower was not mad at him at all.
Instead,the
follower said, 'It wasn't a bad thing that you locked me up.'
Why? Because if the king hadn't locked the follower up, he would
have
brought the follower along to the jungle. If the native found that
the king
was not suitable, they would have used the follower.
Again, the quote 'Good
or bad, hard to say' stands.

The moral of the story is that
everything that happens in this world,
there is no absolute good or bad.
Sometimes good things turned out to be bad
things eventually, while bad
things become a gain.
Whatever good things that happen to you, enjoy it, but
don't
have to hold too tight to it, treat it as a surprise in your
life.
Whatever bad things that happen to you, don't have to feel too
sad or
despair, in the end, it might not be a total bad thing after all.
If one can
understand this, he or she will find life much easier.


And we know that God causes all things to work together
for good
to those who love God, to those who are called according to
His
purpose. Rom 8:28

I Ching Ka Ching

I was googling astrology when I came across I Ching. I have the freaky habit of checking out all kinds of predictions having this belief that consistency will make any forecast closer to becoming a reality. That's why when I learned about I Ching, I welcomed it like a lost son.

Here's a site where you can learn more, toss the coin and read interpretations: http://www.cyberastro.com

Each hexagram is composed of six lines. Each individual line can be either a Yang line or a Yin line. The Chinese sages have evolved 64-life situation called Hexagrams, a figure of 6 lines each. These life situations are in constant flux. The type of line (Yang or Yin) and the position of each line indicate the direction of this flux. Thus (64x6)=384 are possible directions of change or possible situations in life. In this section, we are giving the interpretation of each line as they appear in the particular hexagram. Those interpretations of each individual line will give you a closer picture of how the situation depicted by the specific hexagram can unfold in your life. The ups and down, the opportunities and danger that will be unfolding. The interpretation provides you a caution and also suggests a course of action. It tells you, whether the particular aspect is auspicious or inauspicious for you - whether you should continue your present course or you need to change your direction.

Here's what I got after tossing the coins:

--- Yang at the top
--- Yang in the fifth place
--- Yang in the fourth place
- - Yin in the third place
--- Yang in the second place
- - Yin at the bottom

--- Yang at the top
Sit Calm
Danger ahead
No problem

What it means...You should do your daily duties
without fail. Attend to all routine matters. Do not undertake new work. A
greater force is working in your favor that will drive away all the dark
clouds.

--- Yang in the fifth place
Wise man meditate
Noise do not disturb him

What it means...Let nothing disturb your peace of
mind. Let nothing sway away you from your path of duty. The external disturbance
will be suggestions, statements and actions from so-called well-wishers. Ignore
them like passing clouds. You have nothing to fear. You are now tuned to the
infinite.

--- Yang in the fourth place
Waiting in the mud
Invites the enemy

What it means...You should not be afraid because
the enemy is coming. You are prepared for him. You may be in the mud but you are
not weak. You are weak and afraid only when your faith is on the evil. But your
faith is on god. No matter who the enemy is - you shall overcome.

- - Yin in the third place
Waiting in blood
Coming out from the pit

What it means...This indicates a person just coming
out of danger. It had not been an easy task. God's battle is not easy. You have
been his chosen general.

--- Yang in the second place
Waiting at the feast
It is time for good
fortune

What it means...You do not any god other than the
living spirit, almighty, the Supreme cause and power. This is the celebration
for this victory .You humbly surrender to the good fortune that the almighty has
blessed you with.

- - Yin at the bottom
Entering the pit
Three unexpected guests arrive
Treat them well

What it means...Good fortune at the end. When God
is with you -what is the fear of the unknown or unexpected? You can move
mountains. You can walk through fire. You can cross the sea. This is the hour.
God is testing your finest faith. You have to go through it as you do you will
wish for everybody all the blessing of life. As you do so, a miracle will take
place-All the good fortune will be for you to enjoy.

The Answers to Your Questions
Fortune Medium good fortune Wish Will not be
fulfilled immediately, but will be realized if you have patience and
perseverance.
Marriage Do not rush. There will be delays and
obstacles. It will materialize, but not at this time
Offsprings A boy but late childbirth.
Sickness Long and chronic digestive ailment. Only
rest and proper diet will ensure recovery.
Disputes Not favorable .It is better to compromise.
Employment For the time being, the prospect is not
bright enough. Wait for sometime, the right opportunities will come. This is not
the right time for new project venture.
Travel Not the best time. There will be last minute
delay and cancellation.
Lost Articles You will take a long time to locate
it Look towards north and north west - in your home or in your office.
Money Not immediately. However in the end money
will pour in from unexpected sources.

The Time of Realization...
If the answer to a question is favorable, the time
of realization signifies when is the event likely to happen. It is usually given
in days/weeks/months. This should not be taken in a literal sense. Days signify
immediate fulfillment, Weeks signify that it will take place in the near future.
The month signifies that there will be delay but is going to happen in the end.
Whether it is immediate/medium or long term can be judged from the status of
fortune. If the answer to a question is unfavorable, then time of realization
signifies the duration of the unlucky period. Whether it is days/ weeks/ months
will again depend on the conditions of fortune.
For the Image casted for you
One week, One month.

Moving Line Interpretation

This is the Image of Ta Ch'n - The The taming power
of the wise.

The Significance of the ImageThe creative heaven is
tamed by Ken the mountain. The hexagram has a 3 fold meaning expressing 3
aspects of holding firm. The first Heaven is within the mountain, the two are
joined together. Both are great powers and are acting in harmony.

The second the Mountain Ken is holding Chien the
Creative. This signifies holding back or restrain but for a positive purpose. It
is like you create a dam to control the flow of water to create electricity.

The third idea is the continuation of the positive
inflow, it is like a holding firm for care and nourishment like the flow of milk
for a child being breast-fed by the mother.

The Judgement
Heaven under the mountain
The Superior man stores in his mind
The truths of history
He pays his debtsHe gives away his
rewards
He keeps to his course
He crosses the great water.

The I Ching's Guidance - In Persuit of
Relationships

It is not enough to have power or a great
potential. The issue here is, one must be able to use one's power effectively
and appropriately at all times. This is the sure path to prosperity.
Potentially, you are capable of achieving great things. But you have to canalize
your potential in the right direction. You may be already a very powerful and
successful person.

Your influence is far reaching. As a habit, you can
control and influence other peoples' lives and destiny. You have reached a
position where you may not do anything, because the society rewarded you with
extreme good fortune. However, you cannot forget to pay your debts to the
society.

This is the time for you to take some very
important steps, which will have far reaching impact on your life. Your success
will depend on your ability to focus and channel your efforts effectively. This
is the essence of the message that you tame your great power in the right
direction.

The I Ching's Guidance - In Persuit of
Spiritualism

Stick to the ancient and traditional sources of
whatever spiritual path you have chosen. You may sometimes feel contradictions
and irrelevance in some of these ancient procedures. But stick to them all the
same. At the right time, there will be revelation, which will enlighten you and
you will be free.

Interesting, huh?!

Doing the things you cannot do

Saw a re-run of one of the episodes of Grey's Anatomy (the one with the lady with the big cyst). I love what Dr. Grey said on the last part:

A couple of hundred years ago, Benjamin Franklin
shared with the world the secret of his success. Never leave that till tomorrow,
he said, which you can do today. This is the man who discovered electricity. You
think more people would listen to what he had to say. I don't know why we put
things off, but if I had to guess, I'd have to say it has a lot to do with fear.
Fear of failure, fear of rejection, sometimes the fear is just of making a
decision, because what if you're wrong? What if you're making a mistake you
can't undo?


The early bird catches the worm.

A stitch in time saves nine.

He who hesitates is lost.

We can't pretend we hadn't been told. We've all heard the
proverbs, heard the philosophers, heard our grandparents warning us about wasted
time, heard the damn poets urging us to seize the day. Still sometimes we have
to see for ourselves. We have to make our own mistakes. We have to learn our own
lessons. We have to sweep today's possibility under tomorrow's rug until we
can't anymore. Until we finally understand for ourselves what Benjamin Franklin
really meant.

That knowing is better than wondering,

that waking is better than sleeping,

and even the biggest failure, even the worst,

beat the hell out of never trying.

Gulong Ng Pulbo

Isa sa mga napuna namin dito sa trabaho, karamihan sa mga taong nag uutos ay gutom pag alas kuwarto. Ang mahirap nito, ginagawa nilang pantry ang lugar namin. Iniisip siguro na karamihan sa amin pinoy, na ndi nauubusan ng kutkutin at ndi pumapalya sa brayktym pagdating ng hapon.

Ganito ang istorya ni L--. Dinalhan ko sya minsan ng pulburon. Ibang klaseng pulburon ito, chocolated coated. Kung baga sa lahi, rare breed. Umaga ko ito pinamigay sa mga kasama ko, at dahil siguro busog pa si L-- at walang memeryendahin, inisip na lang nyang kainin kinahapunan ito.

Pagdating ng hapon, ganito na ang istorya. Nakatabi sa kanya ang kanilang amo, nakikipag ututang dila sa kanyang katabi. Notorious ang amo na ito sa paghingi... este pagkuha... ng pagkain sa lamesa mo, alukin mo man o hindi. (Sidenote: Minsang nag pudding ako at namigay sa mga kaibigan ko sa opisina, nasalubong ko sya, sinubukan na iwasan pero talagang hinarangan pa ko at ndi pinakawalan hangga't ndi ko nabibigyan ng pudding!).

Etong si L--, siguro'y nagkaron ng momentary lapse, nilabas at nilapag ang kanyang pulburon. Biglang me tumawag sa kanyang telepono. Sandali syang nalingat dahil sa pagsagot sa telepono.

Ito ay isang malaking pagkakamali. Para kang nag-iwan ng susi sa kotse na bukas ang bintana. O nag-iwan ng susi sa isang pinto na may automatic lock. True enough, pagkatapos iabot ang telepono sa isang kasamahan, bigla na lang sya natulala.

Ang kanyang amo, dinurog durog sa harapan nya ang pulbo, sinubo ang kalahati, nasarapan, sinubo ang lahat. Iniwan ang mumong natira sa kanyang lamesa.

Siguro mga minuto bago sya nakawala sa malaking shock at napa-email sa min.

ang sakit sa loob...nirereserve ko yung pulboron
para merienda ko ngayon...kinuha ko na sa drawer,
binuksan ko na, bigla may tumawag sa telepono kinausap ko, di ko namalayan
padating si reyna...biglang lapit at kinamay ang pulboron..hinati muna ng bare
hands, kumain, kumuha uli, this time inubos lahat, di man lang nagtira kahit
isang kurot.

Saklap.

At dahil dyan, inalayan ko na lang sya ng isang kanta.

Kung minsan ang takbo ng pulburon
Paguubos nito'y walang hanggan
Wag kang manimdim
ang buhay ay
Gulong ng pulbo, gulong ng pulbo
Ang may kapal marunong tumingin
sa taong naghirap at nasawi
bawat isang gabi ay mayroong
isang pulbo,isang pulbo
Gulong ng pulbo
ang buhay ay
gulong ng pulbo
ang kandunganang kapalaran
kung minsan ay
nasa reyna
haah (2x)
Kung minsan ang takbo ng
pulburon
paguubos nitoy walang hanggan
wag kang manimdim
ang buhay ay
gulong ng
pulbo, gulong ng pulbo

Fw: Blue Moon

Dear Sweetie,

I've waited a long time. Hindi pa rin kita makita. Pasensya na, kung dumating ka na, at pinalagpas pa kita. Kung kilala mo lang sana ako, siguro maintindihan mo pa. Kaso, kahit ako, naguguluhan sa sarili ko.

Hinintay kita, in my own little way. Simula pa siguro nung 12 years old ako. Pero, in fairness, tuwing may namemeet ako, ndi ako napapasigaw ng "this is it"... "eto na"... or "yeeesss".... kasi baka ndi ikaw yung dumating... ayokong magtaksil sa yo =).

Antagal kang pineprepare ni Lord. Mukhang nainip na ko. Or mukhang pineprepare din ako ni Lord, at mukhang naggive up na rin sya sa kin. Ang kulit ko daw kasi.

Sana masaya ka sa buhay mo, ngayon at sa mga darating pang panahon. Kung may asawa ka na, bumuo ka ng isang pamilya na magiging productive citizen ng mundo. Sana matupad lahat ng pangarap natin sa pamilya mo.

Sayang no, ndi nangyari yung kasal na pinlano natin! Siguradong sobrang ganda nun... kahit ndi man sa ibang tao... sigurado ko, sa ting dalawa, sobrang heaven ang feeling natin. Si Lord kasi... (manisi ba??? At si Lord pa sinisi).... ndi tayo nakapasa sa Will nya. O kung ndi man, napakadense nating dalawa, kasi kahit anong plano nya, ndi naman natin pinakikinggan.

Kahit ano namang mangyari, alam ko naman, ndi nya tayo pababayaan. Lalo ka na, lam mo bang palagi kitang pinagdadasal? Nun pa, mula pagpasok sa eskwela hanggang sa buhay mo ngayon. Lam kong ndi naman mawawala ang problema, pero lagi kong iniisip na nandyan naman Sya, pareho nya tayong minamatyagaan. Kaya hang in there, like I'm doing here.

May mga pinili tayo siguro na mas importante ng panahon na dapat naging tayo. Minsan, gusto ko ring magsisi pero andyan na yan. Ikaw ba nagsisisi? Palagay ko naman, may kanya kanya tayong tamang dahilan kung bakit ginawa natin yun. Tignan mo nga, kahit Sya, piniling igalang ang choices natin. Kung sakali man na nagiging dahilan yan ng minsan paglungkot mo, hamo na, lilipas din yan. Just get up, tayo na lang tayo uli.

O sya, hanggang dito na lang, hope your well.

Anonymously yours.

P.S. Naalala mo ba nung una tayong magkita? Hindi? Ah oo, ndi pa nga pala ano? Kasi minsang tumingin ako sa buwan, akala ko nakasabay kita. Blue moon pa naman nun. :)

Blue Moon
You saw me standing alone
Without a dream in my heart
Without a love of my own
Blue Moon
You know just what I was there for
You heard me saying a prayer for
Someone I really could care for
And then there suddenly appeared before me
The only one my arms will hold
I heard somebody whisper please adore me
And when I looked to the Moon it turned to gold
Blue Moon
Now I'm no longer alone
Without a dream in my heart
Without a love of my own

Counting My Blessings and Becoming a Steward

What I like most about my work is it's perks: I get to travel, have a stable income, meet friends with common interests and have access to technology, to different industries and fields of interests. I got this great passion for it, that sometimes I expect too much, not just from the work itself, but also from the company and from colleagues. You know how it is when you get to have such high expectations: frustrations and conflicts would always be around the corner.

Case in point: it's not the work but the environment that comes with it that would always cause my burden. It's easy to like work, love it at the most, but if it doesn't come with a sense of pride, contentment or some sort of fulfillment, then it becomes overbearing. All of that can be affected at some point by external factors, mostly by people around you.

At the same time, it's also these same factors that can make me stay longer. Once the office has become a second home/family, it becomes a place of comfort. It then becomes hard when God calls and asks me to embark in another journey because it's rare to find such a place. Yet God lets me know the He only asks me to move on and experience life so I can learn further and grow as an individual.

How much God accomplishes by giving us such blessing! Together with this gift, God gives us a chance to develop our character and abilities. As we grow, we become better stewards of His blessings -- that same gifts that He wants to bless others with, through us (Matthew 25:29-For to everyone who has, more will be given and he will grow rich). We're able to teach others of the things we learn and experience, and share the financial gifts that come with the work we have. At the same time, we live out our Christian faith, and with it, the gospel is shared to our fellowmen.

Isn't this what the parable of the talents all about? (Matthew 25:14-30- a man called on servants to be stewards over his possessions, entrusting different amounts of talents for the servants to cultivate.) Jesus is telling us through the parable that God has given us different skills depending on what we can do, have and bear. As entrusted stewards, it's up to us how we cultivate those talents, to the best of our abilities.

So when work becomes a burden, stop and pray. Follow His way. He gave it because He believes in the greatness of "you". Didn't He love you enough to give up His Son? Whatever the burden brings, hear what the Lord is telling you. Even if all logic and reason fail, offer everything to Him. Because in the end, anything that you lift up to Him will prove its worth.

You gave Your life completely for me
Nailed in the
cross so I can be free
Now is my time to give it to You...

I choose to be devoted to you
I bring my gift, a heart of sacrifice for You
I'm taking your Hand
I'll follow the Feet
that once was pierced
for me...

-from the song "Devoted", Southside Christian Church

CLP: What I learned outside the modules

Grace and Surrender. That was the core message God has given me all throughout the CLP in Novena last year.

Do you know, God knocked three times before I answered the call? First two invitations came from friends when I was still back home, in the Philippines. Though I tried to join, there always seems to be a reason not to.

Third time came which, strangely enough, was something I sought out. I was lucky... no… blessed by His Grace... that at the time, there was going to be a CLP in Novena (Matthew 7:7-seek, and ye shall find). I later heard it through the grapevine that leaders were thinking about not pushing through with it but again, by Grace, the Lord called and many came to heed the call.

True or not and even then, I personally experienced the same temptations and obstacles that seem to hinder me to continue with the program, i.e. work, traffic, problems at home, rain. All these "invisible snags" reminded me now of this hilarious fiction novel called Good Omens*, a story about an angel and a demon trying to save life on earth from ending. Crowley, the demon talented in tempting, at one point, bragged about one of His Deeds of the Day....

"I tied up every portable telephone system in Central London for forty-five minutes at lunchtime... twenty thousand people got bloody furious... You could hear the arteries clanging shut all across the city... Then they went back and took it out on their secretaries or traffic wardens or whatever, and they took it out on other people... In all kinds of vindictive little ways which, and here was the good bit, they thought up themselves... The pass-along effects were incalculable. Thousands and thousands of souls all got a faint patina of tarnish."

The likes of Crawley seems to have their own creative ways when it comes to fulfilling their mission. I know there’s a risk of confusing fiction with reality here, but this somehow describes how I saw that the CLP didn't escape their attention. There were little hitches you just can't shake off. If I had to rely on myself, I would have done the same thing I did previously, which is to not continue with the program. But at the end of the day, when it's time to go and catch the train, God clears my way and leads my path. Who then am I to say no?

And though there appeared to be hindrances, I was able to complete the whole program, not missing any of the modules, the baptism and the graduation. I knew then that it was all not by me, since if it was, I wouldn't have finished that journey. God did have something to say, and I was called to hear it.

God works in many ways to renew our Christian life, as we respond differently, being unique in so many levels. Yet He only wants one true thing, and that is for us to have a stronger relationship with Him, growing through the Holy Spirit. He's bringing us out from all the muddle life brings, back to Him and to the life that He calls us out to.

Somehow, the Lord has taught me to take up that active faith, surrender everything to Him, not to lose control but give it up to Him. (Psalm 46:10-Be still, and know that I am God. I am exalted among the nations, I am exalted in the earth!)

CLP has brought all this to my life, a lesson I'm still trying to learn everyday hence.

* Good Omens by Terry Pratchett & Neil Gaiman is a fantasy comedy book about an angel and a demon and their efforts on delaying the ends of the earth. First published in 1990, the book has since gone through several editions.

Making Pillows Part 2

Taken from Dave Wampler-"Simple Living" network (www.simpleliving.net)

Know that where you are right now is exactly where you should be. Don't worry if you haven't accomplished what you think you should have or what others expect you to accomplish. Be okay with where you are and work forward from there.

You can't do them all. Cut out activities that aren't consistent with your core values. Take your most difficult or dreaded tasks and complete them first thing in the morning. Get them out of the way in order to allow yourself to concentrate on other tasks rather than worrying about the ones you really don't want to do.

Have a clear vision of where you want to go in life. You don't need to know how you will get there yet, just know where you want to go. Have a clear understanding of your values and what is important to you.

Write a list of goals you'd like to achieve. Focus on doing a few really well, rather than a lot in a mediocre way. You can't add hours to the day, but you can cut down on activities.

Say no instead of yes. People agree to requests from others because they like to please them. Instead, realize that you have a right to say no. Creating plans or policies makes saying no easier.

Do you have an answering machine, cell phone, voice mail at work, pager, email? You may want to cut some of these off so that you can accomplish your goals without constant disruption. At the very least, start turning off your cell phone and using it only when you need to call someone. Set aside a specific time each day to answer emails or messages to avoid changing course each time you return a phone call.

Cut back on television time. Only watch those shows you decide on beforehand. Circle them in the television-listing magazine. Then turn off the television when the program is over. Cancel extra cable television packages for channels you rarely watch. Go for broke.

Pierce recommends spending 15 minutes every day going through a closet, a shelf, a drawer, and getting rid of anything you don’t need or cherish. "What’s exciting is that once you start on these surface areas, weeding that out, the skills and mindset carry over to more complex areas like your work and relationships." If you're not using something, get rid of it. Put an expiry date on items when you can't decide to keep them or not. Get rid of them when the expiry date arrives.

Use automatic payments or bank online to have bills paid automatically each month. Automate repetitive, clerical, mechanical tasks. For instance, set up automatic bill payments. Include your automatic savings plan as part of your monthly spending.

Make a plan for the weekend that doesn't involve work. Stop spending time with people who are a drain on your energy or vitality.

Carry a smaller wallet or purse. Start by cleaning out the one you've got. Get rid of unnecessary credit cards and other clutter that you don't use regularly.

Make time for yourself. Set aside time each day to reflect quietly, go for a walk, plan for your future or meditate. Slow down: "Spend 30 minutes a day in silence and solitude," says Pierce. "It will help your mind to relax, so you can shift from the "work-and-spend treadmill," she says, "and focus on what’s most important to you." Find 10-20 minutes each day to sit and relax, do nothing, or meditate. This is a few minutes to reflect on your day, your vision and to clear your mind.

Cut back on debt. Consolidate your different debts into one and pay it off. Put your credit cards in a spot where you won't be able to use them until you're debt-free. Track your expenses for a month, then cut back your spending on items you don't need.

Plan time for a vacation every year.

Work where you live, or live where you work.

Be in bed by 9 p.m. one night a week.

Live on half of what you earn, and save the other half.

Keep asking, "Is this going to simplify my life?"

Rarely buy anything new. Think creatively. The answer doesn’t have to be "buy a new one."

Prolong the life of whatever you own. Use less. Don’t toss anything if it can be reused or recycled somehow.

Use a date book or PDA consistently. Write down everything you and your family need to do and make it a habit to check your schedule on a daily basis.

Making Pillows Part 1

details here: http://magazines.ivillage.com/redbook/print/0,,289455,00.html

I stumbled into an article in IVillage regarding simplifying life last month. I've written some thoughts on it previously but the diary-x site (my previous journal site) suffered a server mishap last week, damaging all diaries. Unfortunately I didn't keep copies of my entries.

I based my new year's resolutions on these articles. So no excuses.
This year's current theme is to simplify my life. To keep a record I'm keeping a rundown list of the things they mentioned in the article and, well, some plan on my end on how to fit each habit in my life...

1. Embrace your insignificance

No matter what I do, people will always have a single definition of who and what I am. It's due to an unconscious trait common to human, to put everything and everyone in a box. It's not everyday that I need to explain myself, or prove my own point. I need to choose my battles and accept myself first before anybody can accept me.

Tough. :).

2. Let go

eeerrr... see point 1.

3. Do nothing -- alone

I would always plan my whole day, weekday or not, from 7am to 7pm. I let go by nightfall but only because the rest of the time serves as my funnel for the other things I planned earlier that needed more time to accomplish.

And so now, there's going to be more spontaneity ...

on a weekend...

between friday night and saturday afternoon...

6pm to 12noon...

hehe.

4. Do nothing -- with your family

Watch eat bulaga over the net with the family back home every Saturday. A for Ai-ffort!

5. Follow the money trail

Install the Budget/Accounting software. Jot down expenses. And torture self for not buying that Charles & Keith sandals.

6. Keep an old quilt in the car trunk

My version of this is to take the bus rather than the subway. Take the seat in the front, play Cueshe or Hale in my mp3 player and watch the sun set on my way home.

Aaaah. Life's a box of chocolate.

7. Buy no colored socks

I bought Le chic jeans, all stretched and blue.

It's all about comfort.

8. Eat the feast in your refrigerator

Picture Jewel in the Palace... everything's quite nice except that it's inhumanly possible for me to resist the temptation of a delicious taho or Arnold's fried chicken once in a while. Life doesn't become simpler when all you can think about is food.

9. Practice gratitude

"I am my own." And I'm thankful to realize it now. Most of the times I share with my friends now are truly amazing. I never had so much fun in life. And just for that, I'm truly grateful to God everyday. When I grow old and grey, and all I have is the rest of the time in my life, just being able to remember these times will be enough to make me utter an almost eternal gratitude.

10. Grow things

I'll be growing my blog. And myself by learning arts, history and music. And asking music to love me too :).

11. Express beauty

One word. Bake.

12. Pretend you have just three friends

Toughest one. For now I have decided to narrow it down to the closest in my circle. I'm also tired of reaching out, expecting too much and then being frustrated in the end.

I love people. I've always believed that you can never truly experience everything in this world. The only other way is to know other people, experience what life brings through them.

Yet after all, I need to be sane.

13. Spoil your husband

eeerrr... how about spoiling myself?

14. Paint one room

I can't paint the room since I'm not allowed to ;P, but i started out by imagining myself one nice afternoon, having tea and watching the telly on one side of my room...
and then the rings started to move outwards....

15. Make pillows

Each day is a pillow. They're all so huggable. :)

Fw:Lessons on Life

Forwarded by a friend...

There was a man who had four sons. He wanted his sons
to learn not to judge things too quickly. So he sent
them each on a quest, in turn, to go and look at a
pear tree that was a great distance away. The first son went in the winter, the second in the
spring, the third in summer, and the youngest son in
the fall.

When they had all gone and come back, he called them
together to describe what they had seen.

The first son said that the tree was ugly, bent, and
twisted.

The second son said no it was covered with green buds
and full of promise.

The third son disagreed; he said it was laden with
blossoms that smelled so sweet and looked so
beautiful, it was the most graceful thing he had ever
seen.

The last son disagreed with all of them; he said it
was ripe and drooping with fruit, full of life and
fulfillment.

The man then explained to his sons that they were all
right, because they had each seen but only one season
in the tree's life.

He told them that you cannot judge a tree, or a
person, by only one season, and that the essence of
who they are and the pleasure, joy, and love that come

from that life can only be measured at the end, when
all the seasons are up.

If you give up when it's winter, you will miss the
promise of your spring, the beauty of your summer,
fulfillment of your fall.

Moral lessons:

Don't let the pain of one season destroy the joy of
all the rest.

Don't judge life by one difficult season.
Persevere through the difficult patches and better
times are sure to come some time or later

Fw: Why do you go to Church?

Forwarded by a friend...

A Church goer wrote a letter to the editor of a newspaper and complained that it made no sense to go to church every Sunday. "I've gone for 30 years now," he wrote, "and in that time I have heard something like 3,000 sermons. But for the life of me, I can't remember a single one of them. So, I think I'm wasting my time and the pastors are wasting theirs by giving sermons at all."

This started a real controversy in the "Letters to the Editor" column, much to the delight of the editor. It went on for weeks until someone wrote this:

"I've been married for 30 years now. In that time my wife has cooked some 32,000 meals. But, for the life of me, I cannot recall the entire menu for a single one of those meals. But I do know this.. They all nourished me and gave me the strength I needed to do my work. If my wife had not given me these meals, I would be physically dead today.
Likewise, if I had not gone to church for nourishment, I would be spiritually dead today!

"When you are DOWN to nothing.... God is UP to something! Faith sees the invisible, believes the incredible and receives the impossible! Thank God for our physical AND our spiritual nourishment!

21 factors to be successful

Forwarded by a friend....

1. Marry the right person. This one decision will determine 90% of your happiness and misery
2. Work at something you enjoy and that's worthy of your time and talent.
3. Give people more than they expect and do it cheerfully.
4. Become the most positive and enthusiastic person you know.
5. By forgiving of yourself and others.
6. Be generous
7. Have a grateful heart
8. Persistence. Persistence. Persistence.
9. Discipline yourself to save money on even the most modest salary.
10. Treat everyone you meet like you want to be treated.
11. Commit yourself to constant improvement.
12. Commit yourself to qualify.
13. Understand that happiness is not based on possession, power or prestige, but on relationship with people you love and respect.
14. Be loyal
15. Be Honest
16. Be a self starter
17. Be decisive even if it means you'll sometimes be wrong.
18. Stop blaming others. Take responsibility for every area of your life.
19. Be bold and courageous. When you look back on your life, you'll regret the things you didn't do more than the ones you did.
20. Take good care of those you love.
21. Don't do anything that wouldn't make your parents proud

Wednesday

Look at him
just waiting
as she walks
with her eyes on his
She says
"I've always dreamed of this"
she never thought
he felt this way
Loving wasn't such an easy thing

two lives as one
one smile
as she looks at him
one vow
to make it true
this is the promise of forever

He promised a lifetime
It was forever for her
and now that this moment is here
a start of a new beginning,
something real
Love is here to stay

on this perfect day
love is here to stay
a start of a new beginning

Look at them just waiting
as he took her hand without waver

On My Mind Tonight

how do i begin to forget
when thoughts of you
keep stumbling in my head
will you ever leave my mind
leave it all behind
now that you've become
a story i can never tell
how could i face tomorrow
when i'm living in our yesterday
as i dream of you holding my hand
your smile,
your touch,
the way you look in my eyes
i don't know what it means
but i never seem to hold back
memories of you
still remains in my heart

My Own

I am my own.

Now that I've finally realized

I am not just...

my father's daughter.
my mother's friend.
my brother's sister.
my friend's confidante.

I am my own.

El-Dee

got a smile from you today
seems like it never ends
same ol' cycle that i'm in
yet still hopin' you'll catch my drift

it seems like i'm in my longest dream
you'll never know so why pretend
there's no use in hidin'
or all i get is your smile
my lost desire

Lipat Bahay

Ateng, bakit nasa blogspot ka na???

February 24, 2006 Dear Friends,
There is no easy way for me to say this.
Diary-X has suffered from an unrecoverable drive failure. Due to a combination of issues, the last backup (from December 2004) contained only configuration files and other non-essential files. We do not have any other backups for the site. All journals, user information, forum posts, templates, images, and everything else are all irrecoverably lost.
In the past several hours, I have had to decide whether or not I should put the site back online at all. Only those users who backed up their own journals (either using the journal download tool or otherwise saving each entry) would be able to reconstruct their journals. Everyone else would have to start over. Whatever developed as a result would still be called Diary-X, but it wouldn't be the same.
I believe it makes the most sense to close Diary-X permanently. Tentatively, the site will go dark on March 31st, 2006.
Thank you for being so generous with your donations during this crisis. Your generosity and kind words were the sole bright spots during this disaster. If you would like a refund, please send an e-mail to mdeken@gmail.com with your name and PayPal e-mail address, and we will process it as soon as we can, hopefully within 24 hours.
If you would like to discuss this matter further, you may contact me at the address below. I will do my best to answer your questions if they were not addressed here.
Regretfully,
Stephen Dekenstephen.deken@gmail.com
Q. What happened with the drive? I thought DriveSavers was the best.A. I had a long conversation with the engineer that worked on the drive. What happened was that the read heads slipped slightly out of alignment and began what is known as 'head skip,' which means that the heads skipped along the platters like a stone across water. Each time they hit the platters, they destroyed a little bit of data (somewhere around 256 bytes). Because they were skipping, they were reading bad data, so the drive attempted to compensate by moving the heads away and back again, which caused the heads to skip into more areas, which the drive then attempted to read from, which moved the head and caused more damage. Given that the drive spins at 7200 RPM, a few hours worth of this type of treatment just completely hosed the drive. DriveSavers was able to get 'fragments of files,' but they were not able to recover anything substantial at all. The physical damage was just too extensive.


"Hayuupp... journal entries ko mula '99 nawala lahat *singhot*... well, SSDD... saym syet diprent dei."

si pepe...

I first heard of ambeth ocampo in Jessica Zafra's Twisted Klite Show. That was a few years back. Later on, sa pagiging tambay ko sa favorite bookshop ko (powerbooks megamall), nagtrip tripan na naman ako and went to browse on the coffee table books about national heroes. There were books about Rizal, I opened some and saw his pictures; he’s posing differently. Ndi posing na pang-dalawang piso. There were pictures pa with Hidalgo and Luna. Ay may barkada pala si Pepe.

That's when I stumbled on “Rizal Without the Overcoat”. What made me notice it was the cover that shows Rizal with the superman logo sa dibdib. When I saw the name of the author, I knew then that this book would be interesting. I was so curious, but like Rizal, medyo nagkukuripot ako. That's what I love about Powerbooks, I can browse the book freely, without being guilty of being caught by manong guardia. If Rizal had the same access, I would have bumped on him siguro :) (wishing..).

I treasure books though I have to read/browse on them first or know the author's works before I collect them. At that time, I had some other “treasures” in mind, so I had to contend with browsing it muna. There were a lot of anecdotes that I didn’t know Rizal did. It was such a contrast for me to see a different side of the hero, like writing about the boisterous americano he encountered in one of his trips. (I do believe Rizal did get the wrong impression about the man, talaga mang nakakainis maybe the comments the americano had made came from the feeling of missing his homeland, and this is his way of coping with it. Kulang siguro sa tulog si Rizal kaya ndi nakuhang mag-emphatize?) My interest peaked though when I came across Mr. Ocampo’s question on whether Rizal was a leftist, rightist or central-ist? And that hilarious scene in Noli where the girls and boys have to share one banca because “may limang butas ang bangka na kelangan din ng limang pangpasak”. I recalled in high school how the boys in our class would laugh about this.

But I'm getting ahead with my story.

I wasn't fortunate enough to continue perusing the book, scatterbrained as I was (still am!). Naalala ko na lang ang book na to later, when I found Jessica Zafra's twisted blog in the net.

Pag nagkukuripot ka talaga, you find ways to support your needs and wants. At pag wala, you rationalize your spendings. :) This is how I stumbled on a copy of the book in a Singapore library. For $1.55 (almost 50 pesos), I was able to reserve a copy. Okay na yun, tulong ko na lang yung singkwenta pesos sa SG library, which still stand as my favorite place in this part of the world. I was so proud to find a filipino author here. Much more was to get something about my country's national hero.

Naging tao sa kin si Rizal after I finished reading the book. Kasi naman, we're trained to know Rizal as a super-enigma person, a great genius. But we were not taught to question the facts presented in our textbooks, much better to memorize everything and get the course done and over it. I'm sure this is not what the great Recto had in mind. But I would like to raise my hat to him as he did make us not forget this great man. I was not even aware that Rizal had been a great topic for debate as my classmates are also, I suppose. All I remember from my Rizal class was that we just needed to participate in a field trip to Subic to complete our requirements. At least yun lang, sa iba, they needed to memorize poems of Rizal.

The book is a collection of articles the author wrote about Pepe. What I loved about it is Mr. Ocampo’s style in conveying the facts about Rizal's life, one that will interest people like me coming from the masa crowd. Ndi textbook ang dating. His innate passion about Rizal shows in this compilation, he doesn't deny it, which makes his stories more colorful. Ang sarap nya sigurong maging professor, tiyak pila ang course nya sa enrolment.
Kids are truly lucky these days; they have so much access to information. Haay.

God's loving silence

Again, from Streams in the Desert, I came across a lovely story. This is about a woman who dreamt of three women praying and Jesus amidst them.

As He approached the first of the three, He bent over her in tenderness and grace, with smiles full of radiant love and spoke to her in accents of purest, sweetest music.

Leaving her, He came to the next, but only placed His hand upon her bowed bead, and gave her one look of loving approval.

The third woman He passed almost abruptly without stopping for a word or glance. The woman in her dream said to herself, "How greatly He must love the first one, to the second He gave His approval, but none of the special demonstrations of love He gave the first; and the third must have grieved Him deeply, for He gave her no word at all and not even a passing look.

"I wonder what she has done, and why He made so much difference between them?" As she tried to account for the action of her Lord, He Himself stood by her and said: "O woman! how wrongly hast thou interpreted Me. The first kneeling woman needs all the weight of My tenderness and care to keep her feet in My narrow way. She needs My love, thought and help every moment of the day. Without it she would fail and fall.

"The second has stronger faith and deeper love, and I can trust her to trust Me however things may go and whatever people do.

"The third, whom I seemed not to notice, and even to neglect, has faith and love of the finest quality, and her I am training by quick and drastic processes for the highest and holiest service.

"She knows Me so intimately, and trusts Me so utterly, that she is independent of words or looks or any outward intimation of My approval. She is not dismayed nor discouraged by any circumstances through which I arrange that she shall pass; she trusts Me when sense and reason and every finer instinct of the natural heart would rebel;--because she knows that I am working in her for eternity, and that what I do, though she knows not the explanation now, she will understand hereafter.

"I am silent in My love because I love beyond the power of words to express, or of human hearts to understand, and also for your sakes that you may learn to love and trust Me in Spirit-taught, spontaneous response to My love, without the spur of anything outward to call it forth."

This devotion has touched me because I'm now living in the silence of God. After all these years, I find myself comforted in this silence. I am like the second woman. Sometimes I do falter and become the first, and I'm longing to be the third someday.

God has given me the Grace to know this now. To become the "incredible absorbing man".